The other evening, in one of the first times we've been able to leave the house as a family since all the ice and Nich's late work schedule, we went to the mall. We were clearly not the only ones in need of an outing...it was absolutely packed! It was almost claustrophobic with so many people out and about. There was such a variety of people, young, old, families, teens, tweens, couples, everything...and everyone was so happy! Oliver picked up on the high spirits and played with the velcro on his shoes for a good hour and a half while sitting in the stroller, people watching, as we moved from store to store.
I have to say I was doing a bit of people watching myself, and one thing that stood out to me more than the people with daring hair, all-black get-ups, slooooow walkers, too short-shorts, and crazy shoes, were two things...the teen moms and the young child-couples in adult-bodies.
When I was in 6th grade, I remember being able to count on one hand the number of girls with more than an A in their cups. It was 3 girls, all of whom were very popular and hung out with older kids. The mall was filled with 12 year old girls with these woman bodies...hips and C's and D's...clinging to their boyfriends who still looked like awkward boys with patches of peach-fuzz masquerading as mustaches. Young teen-love is so sweet to me since I remember those days fondly, but I don't ever remember EVER being as physically involved as these young couples. I had two "boyfriends" in my tween years whom I never even kissed. We barely even spoke...we were an item in name only, and that meant we had someone to dance with at school dances. That was back when just liking someone, or knowing someone liked you, was over-exciting in and of itself.
It was so sad to see these girls and boys in what looked like heavy-duty relationships...and although I don't know what all their relationships entail, I did see several 15 year-old-looking girls pushing around babies and young toddlers in strollers. Now, these could be younger siblings, but what girl goes to the mall with another girlfriend and her baby sister? As in a 6 month old. There was only one young mom I saw with what I assumed was the father, pushing around an 8ish month old. They were all out having a good time, but it really made me, well, just sad for these little girls who have these 12 year old brains in 20 year old bodies.
It makes me think about people who have over-the-top sweet-16 parties and extravagant prom weekends, and all these occasions where thousands of dollars are spent. How do you celebrate better than that for say, a wedding? If you're doing all the cool, expensive things when you don't know what a dollar is really worth, and you always have to top it at the next event, where can you go next besides taking out loans of "monopoly money" for a 5 hour party instead of a place to live?
For these girls who are already having such mature romantic relationships before more life experiences, a developed adult brain, control over their hormones, and the ability to predict realistic outcomes, how are they going to fair in relationships adulthood? There are so many unforeseen issues in sexuality and intimacy that tend to occur when people start physical relationships so young, and I know I have fallen into some of it's pitfalls. Not that I was THAT young, but still, looking back, far too young. It scares me and saddens me of what these girls don't know that they don't know.
That leads me to the man I'm trying to raise: he will no doubt have to deal with his hormones, with puppy-love, and all the choices on how to respectfully and properly handle friendships and relationships with mature looking little girls. Maybe he'll be one of the very few boys who matures faster than the others now that puberty seems to be starting younger and younger. Or will, in his day, all the 12 year old boys have 15 year old bodies? How do I teach Oliver to not fall into this all too common relationship-situation that most people decide "happened on its own"? Oh it worries me and makes me want him to stay a little boy for that much longer!
1 comment:
I have to say, I've had similar thoughts as to how my own children will turn out....once I have some lol! I've already made a decision I wouldn't want my little girls to grow up "Aussie" The women here seem to value themselves very little, and have really lose morals. I guess that was one of the pluses of our great childhood was growing up in the past haha! No TV to influence us, small class sizes....keeping our innocence much longer. Hope i can do the same for mine!
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