And BREATHE!!

We can stop holding our breath!!! Our ultrasound came back with all good news! I can't tell you how many times my stomach dropped this morning before we went in! All looks good with a healthy baby with a heart rate of 174 beats per minute and 17 mm long, that's up from 113 BPM and 4 mm less than two weeks ago. We're measuring 8 weeks and 1 day, which is close enough for me! I'm so releived, so far so good. I read in a book yesterday that all pregnancies have a 1/3 chance of miscarrying. If there's a heartbeat at 6 weeks, it drops to 1/6. If there's still a heartbeat at 8 weeks, you have a 95% chance it will go to term. If we make it to 12 weeks with a good heartbeat, we have 99% chance of going to term...here's keeping our fingers crossed, not that I trust statistics at ALL anymore, but we can hope! I'm signing off, I need a nap after wasting all my energy on anxiety today!

The daily grind continues

Where to begin, so little, yet so much is going on these days. I'll start with the latest pregnancy news. I am happy to report that my Progesterone levels are up from 17 to 24...apparently below 10 is a risk for miscarriage, 15+ is good, and 20 is average. That might explain the very enjoyable case of dry heaving this morning! But I AM really getting tired of all the brown clots I see every day! I worry that they're not just clots! But there's no red blood, so here's still hoping for a good ultrasound tomorrow.

Also, a strange but pertinent question...is my house haunted? Ha ha ha! Ok, seriously, I occasionally see the shadow of a grown man, with little or no hair, passing by the glass in the picture across from the couch, and then last night the same shadow walk by the wall next to the front door, so either we've got a supernatural visitor, or someone's casing this house! I'm not sure which one I'd rather have... I'm hoping it's my eyes playing tricks on me with my crazy hormones and watching entirely too much Dexter. We've decided to stop watching it now after the first season. It just too creepy for my blood - and it doesn't help that we watch it at night. It made for some not so happy dreams last night, and I feel like we've watched a good movie and there's no point in watching more. Series like that tend to go downhill after the cool storyline is over. Maybe we're missing out, maybe the series gets better and better! They do like the F word a lot, and gratuitous sex scenes which get annoying and have no point to the story...is that just Showtime? I don't know, we've been renting the series from Blockbuster since we have basic cable.

To completely change subjects, our dogs are dumb. First, I LOVE that they feel the need to bark at the garbage truck every day it comes, and that they need to be touching a human when they're asleep. I'll admit, it IS sometimes endearing (well, the sleeping part), but it makes life annoying at times. They're also barely one year old and act it, so to help with their endless supply of energy, Nich takes the two crazies, Chester and Daisy, to catch frisbees at the park every day. They've gotten really good at ignoring other dogs and people and are really good at coming when called, until now. Chester saw a couple with another Aussie and thought he needed to go check it out, which means Daisy also needed to check it out. They were loading they're dog into their van, and Chester thought he should load up too! Oh goodness, our dogs ARE dumb. But hey, maybe it's a new way to meet new people! They're fellow dog owners, they can't be all bad...No, I think it just makes us the crazy dog people with obnoxious dogs. I will say, we are signing up Daisy and Chester for dog etiquette classes in March...it can't come soon enough! We were supposed to sign them up on January 5th, but we mixed up the dates and thought it was the 6th, so now we wait.

Anyway, if we get good news tomorrow, I will definitely be posting, and if not, I don't know how long it'll take. I'm practicing getting out of my bubble and that includes trying not to block out the world when something awful happens! We're keeping fingers and toes crossed!

This isn't MY waistline

I'm so tickled! I thought for sure no one would ever read my blog in a thousand years, besides family, so I thought I was safe to talk about this pregnancy and no one would be the wiser! Ha ha! I'm happy for people to know, just wasn't expecting it :) I will say that I am very happy to have such good people in my corner!

Anyway, I had forgotten just how awful morning sickness is, and didn't realize how much sooner my pants would stop fitting. We are two days shy of eight weeks, and I can only wear my low-rise jeans comfortably, but have to undo them when I sit. I refused to get out the old maternity clothes until at least 12 weeks, but alas, last night I didn't want to wear sweats to Chili's and broke down and fished out a pair of jeans with that oh-so-attractive maternity band! I will say, Ahhhh, so comfy!! It is kind of ridiculous though since the embryo is about the size of a small grape...wow how the body changes for such a little guy! And thank goodness for Zofran! I don't know how I went through so many months without the super-potent anti-nausea drug with Julian.

We are also excited and scared to death about our upcoming ultrasound on the 22nd, next Thursday. It's really scary since it was that day one year ago that we found out we had lost Julian when I went in after not feeling him move all day. We are hoping for a good ultrasound, and to see this one growing and with a strong heartbeat...maybe that will help us get through the day and into the next few. January 24th will be Julian's first birthday. One thing that helps tremendously is that people (like our neighbors) remember that day and aren't afraid to say his name. I've always heard that people have a hard time saying a baby's name once it has passed, because they don't know if they should or if it will just remind the parents of what they've lost...I will say, the most helpful thing is when other's acknowledge your baby as having been a real person and using his name. Plus, being pregnant again doesn't suddenly make those memories any easier, although I wish it somehow would! Although...being pregnant does make it easier to see other pregnant women, I feel less like "damaged goods."

Ok, enough sad thoughts for today! Because I am not able to do much of anything around the house...I can't even vacuum because the contraption is over 10 pounds (a good thing and a bad thing since that chore and laundry are now up to Nich, hmmmm)...today is our "chores Adriane couldn't do this week" day. Nich just had a test Friday, so his whole day is free, what a great way to spend a Saturday :( We will FINALLY take down Christmas stuff (or maybe if it's up long enough they can pass for Easter decorations...), get the entirely-too-huge-pile-of-filled-trash-bags-that-has-become-its-own-lifeform out of the garage, bathe Shadow -at nearly 14 years old and 70 pounds, it is quite a feat to get her in and out of the tub! - and get the front yard looking presentable...the freezing temperatures have not been kind to our plants. Oh what fun! Hopefully we will be done in time to watch our new favorite, and disturbing, series, Dexter. The humorous story of a blood-spatter expert for the Forensics Dept. for the police, who is a serial killer on the side...but he only kills bad guys...Yes, I was totally weirded out when Nich first wanted to rent them but it's actually cleverly done. Off to work, or rather, "supervise" Nich work!

Pei Wei ramblings with a side of Lovenox and Oman friends

Last night I wasn't in the mood to cook and we really felt like getting out, so we went to Pei Wei. Now, we LOVE Pei Wei since it's the only "Chinese" restaurant that we like out here...yes, I know how sad that is! If there was an Ocean Palace out here, we'd be there in a second! Anyway, to satisfy tastebuds out here in West Texas, they prepare their food a little on the bland side, so we always ask for a little extra spice and then it tastes great. Well. We asked for some extra spice as usual, and last night that meant an entire shaker of red pepper flakes. Oh. My. Gosh! We spent $23 on inedible food that had no flavor beyond the red pepper! Poor starving Nich ate the whole thing! But...maybe the spicyness worked out in my favor since I'm watching my waistline...come on who isn't, but I'm sure it won't be pretty in a few days :(

I've also been on my Lovenox shots for a few days and so far only one has bruised! How exciting! They still sting like crazy, but Nich's an old pro at giving them now! It's now a "fun" ritual every evening...I go find a spot near my hips and mark it with my fingernail while Nich gets 2 papertowels, a piece of ice, and an alcohol wipe. I ice up while the dogs watch with intense curiosity...Chester, the Aussie, in paticular. I get the alcohol rub, then my 40 mg of Lovenox, then breathe out the stinging that lasts about a minute, leaves, then comes back for a minute...all with an audience of impatient dogs. When it's over, they get to split the booty...Chester or Shadow get what's left of the ice, and Daisy and whoever's left get the papertowels - a fun toy to chew into a million pieces I get to clean up when I'm done resting. I have to stay still for a good 10 minutes after the shot or it stings and I have weird muscle pain.

Ok, as I write, I can feel the battle in my intestines...Ouch! But on a more exciting note, I just got back in touch with some of my childhood friends from Oman! Shelley, Jason, and Mayssan. I remember hanging out with Shelley constantly in 5th and 6th grades, we were connected at the hip! I remember wanting to pierce my ears so badly. She offered to do it but when I chickened out after watching her sterilize a needle, she gave herself a second piercing! I remember being a bit of a pyro and showing her the cool trick of setting the spray from aerosol deodorant on fire in my room, not too bright...well, the flame was... What I remember the most was I loved her tunafish sandwiches. Shelley got one every day wrapped in aluminium foil. She was so tired of them after years of eating them so we swapped nearly every day with whatever I had. I thought any sandwich in aluminium foil always tasted so much better than one in a plastic sandwich bag...but Shelley seemed to like the various sandwiches my mom unwittingly made for her :) I need that tuna recipe...I have always tried to make mine the same but they never seem to come out as good! Maybe it's the hours of marinating in a lunch box I'm missing...

As for Jason, he was always a sweet guy with a quick wit. He was so good-natured, hung out with everyone, and would participate in nearly any goofy thing we were up to. He was the only American I knew that managed to keep his American accent while the rest of us slowly turned British. To the Brits, we sounded like little Texans, while people in the States could barely understand us through our British slang! For example, I asked kids if they were skiving Gym that day...WHAT?!? How was I supposed to know the "correct" word was "skipping"...Little stuff like that make for such good memories and humorous differences in our languages.

Mayssan...we hung out the most in 7th grade. I remember spending hours speaking gibberish...anyone remember the "ithig" language so popular in the early '90's? Similar to pig-latin...we'd go hide in this GIANT bush at the enterance to my complex and smoke cigarettes while speaking in this ridiculous language... We were so secretive, hidden in a bush speaking so no one could understand us - we didn't understand each other half the time. Yes, we had such secrets to keep...but I'm sure no one could tell we were in there, they for sure couldn't smell the smoke...hmmm. I hope we've gotten a little smarter over the years! We'd then go into my room in my house and sing in front of the AC vent, turned on hi, to get the smoke smell out of our hair and clothes so we wouldn't be caught smoking by my mom. duh. Again...I hope we've gotten smarter...

A little about us

So, I'm new at this blogging stuff, but thought I'd give it a try since these days I have little to fill my time! I have been married to the man of my dreams, for real!, for a little over two years, and he moved us from our home in Dallas and my job as an art teacher for five years (which I miss so much!) to another Texas town to attend medical school. It has been quite a ride...our first 2 years! I am no longer teaching, but do art full time both for myself and commissioned works. Although it took a good while, I now enjoy being at home and having my days open to paint (watercolor) and draw, then do a mural or watercolor here and there for people, and to foster dogs with our local Humane Society. But, as of today, I am 7 weeks pregnant with our second child, and although I feel pretty good, the doctor's orders are for limited movement...hence my hand at blogging! I'm a high risk pregnancy for too many reasons to count, so we're being really careful this time around!

Here are our conception woes:
I found out in the summer of 2007 that I have the heterozygous MTHFR mutation where my body doesn't absorb folic acid correctly (not good for pregnancy!) and makes my blood "sticky," for lack of a better word. That one's easily fixable with high daily doses of Folic Acid (4,000mcg) and a baby aspirin. It is still under debate among doctors, but the latest decision is that this is the only blood disorder that does not require a blood thinner, but alas, I am on a precautionary 40 mg daily dose of Lovenox during my pregnancy!

We also lost our first baby, a beautiful boy named Julian, January 24, 2008 when he was born sleeping at 29 weeks. It was deemed a cord accident and there were no complications to his pregnancy besides the MTHFR which was being treated. It has taken us nearly a year to be able to be excited about getting pregnant again. The difficulty and extreme grief that comes with losing a child is one that is not even fathomable, but it is absolutely amazing and horrifying how common it is. As soon as it happened to us, it seems everyone knows someone or has had a stillborn themselves. It is so sad, but so helpful to know we're not alone in this, since it is supposed to be one of those things that never happens anymore. It helped me when a woman I taught with, who had a stillborn a few years before me, told me how she and her husband dealt with the pain, and one thing that helped her, and helps me, is the knowledge that only 2 generations ago, women would sew a greiving blanket, while they were pregnant, to bury their baby in, in the event of a stillborn. It does put things into perspective of how far we have come, and how common it was...that so many families had, and expected such tragedies, but they, and I, have come through it to the other side where life is almost normal again...although Julian is always in the back of my mind and I think about him daily. I don't end a day without talking to him and telling him how much I love him and hope he is in a beautiful, loving place where I will get to see him again!

Ok, if I keep typing, I won't be able to see the screen anymore! So, another complication to this pregnancy is something I haven't been able to find any research on. I had the copper IUD put in 6 weeks after giving birth, and had it removed in December so my husband and I could start trying for a pregnancy, Februaryish. Although we were very careful, we got pregnant in December - according to our dates, we conceived before the IUD was removed, then implantation occured after it was removed! What a window, huh!! So I haven't been able to find if the risk of miscarriage is higher or not. Luckily I have an awesome high-risk doctor who took us in right away and we've had three ultrasounds in a week to determine how everything is going. I am happy to report that as of Saturday, we have a healthy pregnancy of 6 weeks and 4-5 days, with a strong heart rate of 113, and a fetal length of 4mm! Despite the bleeding and brown discharge (which we assume is from the IUD removal) all is well, minus a clot in my uterus which should resolve itself. As a precaution, I am on folic acid, Lovenox, a prenatal, and now Progesterone. Such exciting news!

What's strange is, even with my husband's access to medical information, there is nothing written about this...I can't imagine I'm the ONLY woman who got pregnant so quickly! I have seen women online who had miscarriages after getting pregnant immediately after having the hormone implant removed, since their lining wasn't built up enough, or so that's the thought.

Well, so far, I don't know if this is going to be a pregnancy blog, a medical student wife's blog, or just a random blog...I'm guessing a little of everything! My brain is so random that I'm sure I won't be able to commit to any particular topic!