SAHM Wars

As a stay at home mom, or SAHM as it is referred to online, there is a lot of perceived societal pressure to be, well,  awesome. Because I am home all day, the house should stay clean, laundry done, kids fabulous and always well behaved, the TV off all day long, perfect family photos, amazing crafts done, have interesting hobbies, my hair always done, make up done, well-balanced dinner cooked, 16 frozen homemade meals for back up, stocked pantry, playdates scheduled, doctors appointments done on time, 3 Pinterest ideas going, getting the pre-baby body back within 12 weeks post-partem (and that baby sleeping through the night by then), finding amazing deals all day long because "Thrifty" is your middle name, having opinions on everything from politics to who's sleeping with whom in Hollywood, being sexy with your husband at least 3 times a week ... you get the gist - "Leave it to Beaver's" mom (except we all know they were only between the sheets to conceive their 2 boys, actually on second thought, the boys were adopted...proper people in the '50's didn't have "relations"). The 1950's stereotype is alive and well amongst a lot of women, just in the 21st century add on Facebook, blogs, Twitter and such social media, with people scrutinizing each other whilst posting the perfect moments in their lives and hiding the bad.
 

I've read so many articles about how tough moms are on other moms. Women holding each other up to unrealistic expectations and laughing at, while being secretly relieved, when other moms don't (and can't) live up to them. I have definitely felt these pressures at different times, and know I always fall short. Everyone falls short. I suspect it is even tougher for moms who work - add on all that's expected from women to perform 100% in the workplace too. I don't plan to rewrite those articles, although I do love reading them as a psychological breath of fresh air. I believe whole-heartedly that we as women need to support each other. Lose the high school social hierarchy and just support each other without the catty comments and look-you-over-head-to-toe stares.

I will say that, as of late. it seems there has been a new wave of "Rah Rah Moms!!" (as there needs to be) who admit to and don't mind others knowing that they wear sweats or pajamas all day, that they're lucky if they get a shower in before noon (heck, by bedtime), fed their kids mac 'n' cheese three times this week, neglected the house and kept the TV on all day while dealing with barf and poop from sick babies or sick themselves, or left their kids to their own devices for 3 hours while they had a chance to reconnect with who they are as a person (even if that IS 3 hours on Pinterest or in a good book (or a bad book...)), who know those 15 extra baby pounds won't come off without a miracle, who are happy they have ANY pictures of their kids, and DIDN'T get a chance to blog this week, or this month, or ever. These are the women I can relate to :) The imperfect women doing their absolute best with the time and energy they have, and some weeks everything's rockin' on all cylinders, and some weeks you're barely keeping your nose above water. I love that there is a huge swing to this side of the spectrum. I'm less embarrassed when people drop by and my house isn't perfect or my mascara isn't on, or I'm walking the dogs and kids in my pajamas (and kids in their pajamas), or my sheets haven't been washed in 3 weeks. Oh, I'm still embarrassed, just LESS embarrassed...

BUT. There is a new judgement from some of these women who have decided to not let others' judgements affect them. It's ironic really. Now I hear women making comments to or about women who dress nicely everyday, who look "put together," or who always have a neat project going (re-doing furniture comes to mind), or who lost their pregnancy weight quickly. Maybe it's out of jealousy, maybe guilt, maybe the desire to have the energy or time to do that...I'm not sure. But I know, just as nasty as it is to feel like you have to be "perfect," it's just as nasty to feel like you shouldn't do what you want because of a different kind of judgement. From the "she's not doing enough" to "she's trying too hard, silly her." It's sad that there are so many unhappy women who are so quick to be snippy. Can we please find that happy medium and just support each other? Ok, I'm getting off my soapbox now. Can't we all just...get along? ;P

More projects

Several years ago, the summer of the first year I began teaching (10 years ago, eek!) I discovered I must have projects in the works. Whether it is designing and building a quilt, board game, outdoor landscape, or water coloring and sketching, I have to have an outlet for all the crazy things floating in my head. I've been a bit of a lock-in lately with my youngest being sick for nearly a week now, and today was the first day I felt he was well enough to venture out...so we went to Lowe's and (evil) Wal*Mart for some inspiration. And we found it! With Ian happily crawling around and getting into stuff for the first time in days (aka I didn't have to hold him 14 hours of the day), Oliver and I designed some fun manipulatives.

The first one is a "Melissa and Doug" inspired Build Your Own Felt Sandwich. I saw this for about $25 and knew it'd be a great Christmas present. But for about $5 of felt and colored Sharpies, we designed our own!

We've got 3 types of breads, (wheat, pumperknickel roll, and baguette), condiments (mayo, ketchup and mustard), meats (salami, ham/turkey, and peperoni), cheddar cheese, and veggies (lettuce, tomatoes, purple onion, mushrooms, bell pepper, pickles/cucumber). I say it was a success since Oliver kept trying to feed the meat to some imaginary baby monsters. On a side note, he's now obsessed with Spider Man and was dressed in spider man pajamas and destroying monsters as I cut shapes out of felt. Apparently the babies are nice, as are their parent-monsters...so I had a nice conversation with the mommy-monster at Oliver's request. I think he's in need of a playdate, sheesh!!

Looking at the tasty sandwich parts, I think it'd be fun to do a pizza version, taco version, maybe desserts, I don't know. It's endless!

And the second toy is inspired by a woman at church who brings all kinds of cool things for her kids to work on. I saw one of them (which totally intrigued Oliver) and decided we could create that for Christmas too! So for about $8, we came up with this:

It's a rubber band board that even I had trouble stopping playing with long enough to eat dinner. There is a pretty wonky nail in there, but there must be a hard spot in the wood, certainly not my awesome hammer-skills...

Here's hoping we can get into more good stuff tomorrow...there are always ideas of things to make, the question is, will there be time tomorrow and will Ian be as easily distracted for that long again? We shall see!

Grandparents

I'm having one of those blah days. I'm not sure if it's because Ian's sick, again, and we're on day 5 of vomiting and diarrhea. My poor little baby can't seem to stay well this Fall, and I hate it for him. He's so miserable and thanks to 2 of these illnesses, we now know he gets febrile seizures. I'm so glad Oliver's in school today so he's not stuck around the house again being silent so Ian can sleep, while having no escape to get out and go nuts. He's an amazing little 3 year old!

So, to add to my blah day, I realized right now why I'M so blah too. Out of the blue I'm missing my grandparents. They have all passed away now, and it's hard today to feel like I'm no one's grandchild anymore. There's some special love that only grandparents give to kids, even after they're all grown up. As we approach Thanksgiving, I miss Granny and Pa's house. The familiar smell of brownies, fried chicken, and oil paintings. The pretty roses around the house and the whole family sitting on couches without the distractions a good wi-fi connection bring. "Penny for your thoughts?" Oh how I'd love to have a long conversation with Granny right now. Or listen to one of her funny childhood farm stories, or of her teaching stories. To hear Pa make those silly noises with his mouth and rocking in his chair, telling stories of how he made the designs in the carpet with a piece of wood before we came over. The Macy's parade in the background. I would love to watch my boys and their cousin play around with the toys we enjoyed from our childhood Thanksgivings at their house. I'd love for Oliver to go into Granny's garden with her to pick the perfect rose, or watch in disbelief as Pa climbs to the top of a ladder to get the best-smelling, prettiest Magnolia flower. For the cousins to learn the art of the best card game ever, "Battle!" No one can play it as well as Aunt Carolyn. I'm missing a big squishy hug from Granny, and a manly smelling hug from Pa right now. And I wish my boys could know how totally awesome their great-grandparents are. I'm so happy my Oma was able to meet all her great-grandchildren before she passed this past year, but I wish they could've known the woman I knew - the faint smell of coffee through a beautiful thick German accent. Who made delicious spaghetti sauce from scratch and created hours of shadow puppets on the walls. The woman who would practice getting the "Salsa hips" just right in the reflection of nighttime windows with us, and would read the same page of a book all day long because she fell asleep mid-sentence too many times. I miss my grandparents today but am so thankful I knew them so well.

Organize ME!!! (again)

I am a lover of organizing and labeling and sorting and everything having a "place". One of my favorite areas of a store is the office section because of all the envelopes, labels, papers, bins, baskets, hole punchers...you get the idea. Why? I have no idea! But I'm always looking for ways to keep things organized - they say your house is a reflection of you...I'm sure I'm attempting to keep things just a step away from chaos both in my head and in my house! Ha!

Do you remember this post where Oliver and I re-organized our Lubbock kitchen? Well, it had to happen again I suppose, just here in our current home...

Here is the view upon opening the pantry:

 HEAVEN!

And as you peer around the corner:

Oh yeah baby!

 Plastic bins with handles at Big Lots for $2.50 a piece, and, wait for it, LABELS on the handles!

I love it!

Nich is terrified of it, hahahaha!!

I can find everything SO much EASIER it's laughable! Now I need to find another project...lots to choose from in this house, let me tell ya!

Art Projects

Over the past few weeks we've been having fun with color! Oliver got this cool bird feeder for his birthday and painted it himself, and Nich finally had the chance to hang it up this weekend!

Printmaking with Tempera Paint and a cookie sheet (and fingers...maybe the best part!)

And Ian with ketchup and mustard!

And Oliver really getting into it! (He ended up with brown paint all the way up his arms, shoulders and onto his neck...definitely needed a bath after that one!)

The results! (The top left two are Ian's masterpieces)

And what happens when you mix colored vinegar with baking soda? Fizzle-y craters!! He seriously did this for a good hour, and then we dumped the cups of vinegar in for a huge foamy fizz!

And Ian can climb! This is what he does in his down time. Here, and the fireplace, and the rocking horse, and today on the bars on the playground...just about gave me a heart attack to see him 4 feet up on just bars with 24" spaces between them! Teach ME to help Oliver across monkey bars while Ian's fiddling around on the playground, sheesh! :D