Beer Family

Latest Beer News

2011-12-09T12:22:00.000-06:00

Here's why I've been slow to update: *smile*

Here we are a few days before my C-Section - 38 1/2 weeks pregnant. So, I don't have one of those belly buttons that "pops out" to tell you when the baby's ready, my face just turns into a ball. I'm guessing it's so my belly doesn't feel so lonely in giganto-world...

Family picture - Oliver was thrilled, can you tell? It was close to lunch time and he was eyeballing the soccer ball we brought to kick around after the photos.

I love this picture since for the last 2 months, Oliver got SO EXCITED about having a baby brother, and would rub and kiss my belly all. the. time! So this didn't really have to be staged...we just asked where baby brother was.

And November 23, 2011 came! Baby Boy Beer was born 9:22 AM. He was 8 pounds, 5 ounces, and 20 1/4 inches long! No wonder I felt so huge and sore!

He remained nameless for three days...better than Oliver who took four days.

Nich (Daddy) cutting the cord.

Just as with Oliver, I was SO HAPPY to hear his loud cry! This little baby has some LUNGS! He is gorgeous and I couldn't stop kissing him and crying :) He's perfect!

Actually, the doctors were suprised when Baby Boy started crying before they even got him out. The got most of his head out, and the crying started...he was ready! Or maybe really NOT ready to come out, hmmm.

Proud Papa

Oliver got to meet his baby brother later that afternoon. His aunt Sara holding him here. Oliver was kind of confused, but excited!

34 hours old...couldn't get the picture to turn around, but here he is chilling out! At this point, his first name was Ian. Just need to think of a middle name we could agree on and that suited this little guy!

Back at home and Oliver's first time holding his baby brother, Ian Alexander Beer! He was SO EXCITED and kept pointing out eyes, ears, nose, mouth, fingers, feet, toes...you get it! And then showed Ian "Hook 'Em Horns" and "Guns Up!"

Oliver wants to hold Ian every chance he gets!

My guys! I love this bunch more than ANYTHING!

Ian's first 2 weeks of life:

And our new family picture taken just last night!

Some other information for me to remember and for anyone else curious out there...

-I'm SO GLAD I opted to NOT have a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After C-section) since the doctor told me I had a really thin area in my uterus that likely would have ruptured had I gone through labor. She reinforced it (I assume with medical duct tape) and told me I was good to have another baby so long as I don't go into labor. Ok!

-I've been able to nurse Ian, and after a few tough days, things are going great and he's back to his birth weight in a matter of days. YES!

-Week 1, I lost 20 pounds, and by week 2, it's down 26 pounds. Sounds good til you hear I had a total of 42 to lose...still a ways to go. But over halfway there!

-Oliver started sleeping through the night (finally) about 2 months before Ian was born, and can now sleep through the cries in the middle of the night. Thank goodness!!!

-I LOVE LOVE LOVE my family! We are so blessed with our 3 boys!

Happy Howl-oween!

2011-11-01T05:48:00.001-05:00

(I stole that from my punny sister, Za)

I thought I'd add our Halloween 2011 to the mix of the thousands of people blogging, Twittering, and Facebooking their Halloweens this year...tonight was just too much fun not to!

When I first asked Oliver what he wanted to be for Halloween, on 2 separate occasions he told me he wanted to be a cow. He was very clear about this. We went to a Halloween store and found the toddler-sized cow costumes, and Oliver tried it on. I'm not sure why, but somehow it freaked him out and he wanted NOTHING to do with cows. Ok. On to plan B. I gathered a ton of ears attached to headbands - dog, cat, zebra, tiger, giraffe...you name it, I grabbed it - and brought them over for him to see. After Za and I modeled some ears for him, Oliver was inspired to try some out, and decided to be a dog! Of course we got puppy ears, tail, and a cat basket as his costume. He even wanted to wear the ears out to lunch :)

So here is our little puppy dog, with the ears I was SURE would be ripped off in 10 seconds, but he LOVED them and ran around telling everyone he was a dog, then barking!

He refused to change shirts into a color that matched his little ears and tail, so he was a stripey dog...and VERY pleased about that!

And the REAL dogs sported their costumes this year, and Daisy was, again, Dr. Daisy. It was fitting since we live in a neighborhood that is almost exclusively medical residents - so many people live in scrubs around here that they barely noticed a dog dressed in them :)

Needless to say, only Daisy joined us trick-or-treating. Can you imagine Chester out there with all the people in costume? So he stayed home and watched the swarms of kids from the bedroom.

Oliver was super excited to get his tail put on, and flashed Za this smile that he reserves just for her when she's behind the camera. I can't get him to smile like this - it's a Za thing.

We met up with his good buddy, Kenzie, who was also a puppy dog, and these two cutie-pies spent the evening running around and finding houses with lights on. They were so excited to be dogs for the night!

Knocking doors - they would knock continuously and loudly until someone would answer. Nich taught Oliver to say "trick or treat."

And people answered with CANDY!! Oh Oliver thought this was FABULOUS!!

Look! CANDY!!! He HAD to have a few pieces while we walked to the next house.

And more nice people with candy! Here's Nich with Oliver and Kenzie with her mom. Can you believe she had a baby 4 months ago? A cute little boy dressed as a basketball :)

And here's a surprise person answering the door on Halloween!

He was a FANTASTIC Santa. We are so going over there over Christmas and get getting pictures with him!

And Oliver with his Za and his Daisy :) Two of his favorite ladies!

And our little (but growing) family!

And pardon my giant face - there IS a giant belly there to match at 36 weeks pregnant. I managed to hide it pretty well behind Oliver!

HAPPY HOWL-OWEEN!!!

Oh, and here we are at 7:00 the next morning with all the CANDY!!! Notice the bit of brown still on Oliver's nose...he wanted to sleep as a doggy too last night :)

Anatomy Class

2011-10-22T08:37:00.000-05:00

All my friends with kids have so many funny stories about the goofy things their children say when they're first learning to speak and while they're trying to figure out how things in the world work. I am so happy we have a few of those, but the one that takes the cake at the moment is my little boy's figuring out gender... In one of my favorite "How to Raise a Toddler" books, it says that children this age have no idea about gender, and by around age 4-6 they start defining gender by clothing - girls wear dresses, ponytails, etc, boys have short hair and such. But there's always a funny story about the road to figuring out what makes boys boys and girls girls. Oliver has one such story. Nich might kill me for telling it, but I HAVE to record it since I think it's a great one to tell his future wife :)

The other morning when Nich was done showering and getting dressed, he realized the clothes he wanted were in the drier after washing them the night before (yeah, how cool is it that my husband launders his own clothes fairly regularly? I didn't say FOLD and PUT AWAY, but I'll take wash and dry, ha ha ha!) and walked through the house stark naked on his way to the drier. Oliver and I were in the living room - now just as background information, seeing one of us getting dressed is pretty normal for our 26 month old - so neither Nich nor I thought anything of it. That is until Oliver looked up, pointed and shouted "Daddy penis!!!!!" Without losing a step, Nich disappeared into the laundry room and there I was saying, "Yes, that is Daddy's penis. Ready to read this book?" Oliver stood up, grabbed his diapered and pajama'd crotch and said "Dada's penis." (Oliver calls himself Dada). I agreed that was where it was, but then he looked concerned and said. "Where'd it go?" I told him it was in his diaper...meanwhile, Nich walks back through the room back to our bathroom. Still stark naked. So Oliver starts pointing things out again and getting very troubled about where his own penis went.

I took his diaper off and told him his penis was still safe right there, and penis in hand, Oliver ran to the full-length mirror in our room shouting "Dada's penis, Daddy's penis" and stood there staring proudly at himself. At this point, Nich was fairly dressed and we thought Oliver was ready to get dressed too, until he turned to me and asked, "Mamma's penis?" Oh dear. "No, Mamma doesn't have one, just boys like Daddy and Oliver do." I could see the little gears turning as he, I assume, was thinking back to the times he's seen Mamma getting dressed, and he started asking about who else had a penis. Oh my. So we went through the list of everyone he knew - if you're related to him, I'm sure we talked about your private anatomy with our son, I'm sorry...and Oliver was REALLY interested in all of this talk. Until we got to Chester and Daisy. Chester has a penis, Daisy doesn't. Wow, that about blew his mind! THANKFULLY he didn't need proof of it, so the dogs and all our relatives are off the hook ;)

I'm sure this is not the end of this discussion, and is only the beginning, but what a fun start to Anatomy 101, huh?

TMI - Toilet Training

2011-08-25T11:18:00.001-05:00

Toilet Training Shopping List:

Toddler training seat

Step stool

Pull-ups

Toddler underwear

M&M's

Flushable wipes

Laundry detergent

Bissel Wet Vac solution

Got all that over the course of about 2-3 months, and finally decided to try it out "for real." Oliver kept showing interest in toilet training...I got the hint when he'd go in and try to sit on the pot, tell me he needed to go when I was going to go and then try to sit on it before me, tell me when he was going to go "too too," and spending hours sitting naked on the froggy-potty we got for him (that, unfortunately, just became the cool naked-chair and had nothing to do with peeing - why would it, no one else pees in a giant green frog...), then sitting for 3-10 minutes at a time on the toilet...nothing ever coming out, but he got big smiles from everyone for sitting there, and often sat with a giant grin on his face.

SO, we did it one day. After a quick pep-talk from my mom, we went from morning diapers to all day underwear. I had read that because modern diapers and pull-ups are so effective, kids often can't tell when they're wet. So, I decided to go straight for underwear so he (and I) would know when he pee'd and I could figure out his elimination-schedule. Oh fun times.

With the first pee-accident, he said "tee tee" when he was wet (up until now, "penis" and "pee pee" were synonymous, so I think he now knows the difference a little better now - yes, we use the real words in this house...most of the time...if we had a girl, I don't know if I could stop using the word "va-jay-jay" though, the other is just too much, ha! Oh, and as per the previous post, "ta-ta's" is a scientific word as well). Anyhoo, back to the excitement of potty training. Oh yes, and I call it TOILET training because of Oliver's issue with port-o-potties, but I'll bring that up again later. So, Oliver was far more concerned with the wet spot on the floor than going to the toilet, but by accident #3, he decided we weren't going to clean it up before walking calmly and sitting on the toilet, praises for sitting, and changing out underwear. Our wet-vac got a lot of exercise, and can I say, I really appreciate the automatic cleaning action of that little thing. ("Just set it and forget it!" Ok, different appliance, but verse two of that song) I found out he pees just about every 50 minutes, and was SO happy when it was nap time, since that was diaper time :) Oliver seemed relieved too (punny, ha ha) and pooped in the diaper and asked for it to be changed - Oh I'm so glad I didn't have to deal with poop in underwear.

After nap time, back to undies, and being told "tee tee!!!!" after the fact. By the end of the day, Oliver was not super excited about mounting the toilet every hour and being wet. Watching him all day, I have come to the conclusion he still doesn't realize when he's going to pee until after it's started. So, I have decided, in my great wisdom and experience, ha ha just kidding, according to "the books," to wait another month or so and try again. He just turned 2 on Sunday, so it's a tad early for a boy anyway, but he now knows about peeing and being wet, and we do that in the toilet, but he just doesn't have the ability to coordinate it all yet. So rather than making it a loosing battle, frustrating him, pulling my hair out, and having a urine-stained house (even though our wet-vac is pretty awesome) we're going to wait a month and try another day and see if he can feel when he needs to pee BEFORE it's dribbling out. By the end of the day, I was so sad Oliver didn't get any pee in the toilet, so no M&M's, so we shared a bowl of M&M's for dessert as a little pat on the back for surviving a confusing and somewhat rough day.

Ok, back to the port-o-potties. Do you remember Oliver's obsession with the green and blue "yuckies?" Here's an excerpt of the post to refresh your memory:

"He's also obsessed with "trash" and "yucky" things. Has been since he was 6 months old and would point to every spot on Wal-Mart's floor and say "trash." He's very excited to throw away anything that looks garbage-worthy, loves the garbage truck, has to count all the garbage cans on trash day, and has this weird need to go see the "yuckies" or port-a-potties on our block in front of the houses under construction. Everyday. Several times a day - although we only go once during our evening walks. He wakes up talking about the "blue yucky" and the "green yucky". It would be endearing if he weren't also a little scared of them and SO obsessed with them."

They have taken away the blue one (thank goodness) and the "green-yucky" still stands. (In Oliver's language it's Nyagucky), and in a strange twist, Oliver now uses it as his word to express frustration and anger. Much like a swear word. Much the way people use the word "S**T!" which Nich and I find hilarious considering he doesn't hear us swearing, and what happens in a port-o-potty is so similar to the "SH" word, so hearing "Nygucky!!!" shouted from somewhere in the house makes up crack up, and we have now taken to using it as our swear word of choice.

TMI - Bras...

2011-08-25T10:01:00.000-05:00

I must say, I am always impressed with everything a woman's body goes through in order to birth a human being. Apart from the enlarging of the heart, increased blood volume, organs compressing to half their size and crammed into whatever tiny place they can find plus the surge in hormones, moving of bones and dumbing down of the brain...so nicely called "pregnancy brain" that I'm still not convinced ever truly goes away...what I am most impressed with at the moment is the change in the feeding organ, the ta-ta's. Yes, I like to be scientific when I write, and in my book that's the correct term.

So I have noticed more backaches and bad posture that are annoying, but more than that, the "hoochiness" that comes with the spillage-over or "bubbling over" of an ill-fitting bra (you know, that oh so attractive look of having 4 ta-ta's, or an udder, when you're wearing a t-shirt.) So, even though I am in my largest pregnancy bra from Oliver's pregnancy, just 26 weeks in, I already "runneth over." Oh me oh my! So while Oliver was in school, I went and got fitted by a very sweet woman, and she brought me something a tad bigger than the pinching, cutting-circulation, leaving red marks, and showing a little too much bra I was wearing.

Um, so, slight difference. But can I say, HEAVEN!! It's for sure a Granny-bra, what with the wide shoulder straps, the giant band with 3 hooks in the back, and gigantic underwires that start at the center of my armpits. But, I stand up straighter, have happy shoulders, look "perkier," (not that that matters with the giant belly below, but I'll take it), and most importantly, the "girls" are happy! Held in a normal shape, in their natural position, and no bubbling over anywhere, I no longer look like a pregnant cow, just a beached whale with nice ta-ta's.

I'm still in shock...here's my hand in comparison to the cup. Eek!!! And I know things are just going to get bigger, so I'm a little worried about how THAT will work. There's not really room for much of anything to get bigger and yet, the baby still has a good 5-6 pounds to put on. Oh I'm going to need some help! (Maybe TMI #2, but Nich has offered to walk behind me and "support me" as much as I need. What a sweet guy...)

From the Experts

2011-07-26T12:31:00.000-05:00

Thank you to the ladies who gave me wonderful advice and encouragement from my last post!! I keep re-reading the comments when things get tough :) I REALLY appreciate it so much!!!

My mom also reached out to help and sent us some light reading...

Thank you mom! (She said she chose them based on their reviews, and added that they probably all disagree and contradict each other, but may still be helpful - hahahaha! I'm betting she's right!) I've read through one of the books so far, The Happiest Toddler on the Block by Harvey Karp, MD, and like about 40% of what he says. The teacher in me is busy screaming at the other 60% of him that encourages EVERYTHING to be a negotiation/compromise, teasing about giving in (tell him "you always win" when you give them their way...so does that he mean he's a "loser" when he doesn't win?), and (I feel) raises kids with a sense of entitlement. But I like the way he explains how to verbally reach and emotionally connect to a kid during a tantrum, and I like the way he sets up "time-out." (If Dr. Karp were to read this, I'm sure he'd say I didn't understand the techniques properly, but that's what I came away with, as did Nich and his mother when I read parts to them, so I feel justified, ha! - If you ever find yourself thumbing through the pages, read the story on page 254...I want to shout NOOOOOOO, NOT RIGHT!!) Anyhoo, I really did like some of it and am incorporating it into our lives. I'm happy to realize I already do most of the "secret tactics" given to keep a happy relationship with your toddler, and haven't noticed huge changes when it comes to Oliver not wanting to do something I've requested of him, but I'm going to give it a good 3 weeks or so.

I'm now reading Secrets of the Baby Whisperer for Toddlers by Tracy Hogg. 20 pages in, and so far, so good :)

Oliver's decided to read this one...

Why "No" is every toddler's favorite word Why your toddler clings to you one minute and rejects you the next How to understand your child's sudden fear of familiar things like the bathtub

I think it'll really help him figure out why he does what he does. ;)

Actually I just thought it was funny that he looked at the pile and picked that one out to "read!"

So thank you thank you all, and I'm always up for more advice and pointers on what worked for you, OR what you wish you would've done differently.

I've also decided, according to "the experts," not to take away Oliver's pacifiers at night yet..."they" say not to do something that drastic 3 months before or 6 months after a huge life change like a "move" or a "new baby"...Hmmmm. Ok, I've read that in several places now, and since we moved 3 months ago, changed him to a bed, put him in a new school, and are have a new baby in 4 months, I guess we'll wait 'til he's three. Easy, done, yay!

And a funny Oliver story I have to share - While Nich was shaving yesterday, Oliver was sitting there watching him, then got up, grabbed the squeegy we use to get the shower-water off the glass door, and started "shaving" his own face :) So funny!! So Nich put some shaving cream on Oliver's face, and squeegied it off :) Oliver was BEAMING after that!

What do we do? (A Looooong Post)

2011-07-18T14:50:00.000-05:00

I keep hearing the 3's are more terrible than the 2's. I think I'm getting a taste of the 2's - he is testing my every word, move, and thought and he's almost 23 months old.
I need to preface my gripes with this: Oliver is an adorable, outgoing, energetic, all-boy kind of kid, who likes to wrestle and horseplay, then turn around and read for a few hours. He'll eat anything you put in front of him and he loves bedtime and bathtime. He loves to dance and sing, go for walks, and get cuddled when sleepy. He loves his dogs, being chased around the house, going to the pool...the "deep wa-wa," playing peek-a-boo, and going down every slide within eyeshot. He's a spunky, funny, smart little boy who will do just about anything if it'll get a laugh.
He's also obsessed with "trash" and "yucky" things. Has been since he was 6 months old and would point to every spot on Wal-Mart's floor and say "trash." He's very excited to throw away anything that looks garbage-worthy, loves the garbage truck, has to count all the garbage cans on trash day, and has this weird need to go see the "yuckies" or port-a-potties on our block in front of the houses under construction. Everyday. Several times a day - although we only go once during our evening walks. He wakes up talking about the "blue yucky" and the "green yucky". It would be endearing if he weren't also a little scared of them and SO obsessed with them.
So here's the issue of the terrible-2ness. This sweet boy I just described also has a less-sweet side. I can't decide if it's just a hormonal two year old, an extra difficult child naturally, or something I'm doing wrong. Here are some of the issues:

1. A) Trust: While he will immediately run to play with any children ages 2-6, he is always on edge with kids younger than that, or who are shy/quiet. Mostly he doesn't want to share things with them (although he will with older kids) and he gets disinterested quickly and ignores them. Also, in his eyes, neither Nich nor I can interact with these younger children. He'll throw a fit and get VERY possessive. What do we do there? (especially after this next baby comes...I have a feeling there will be some LONG weeks if we can't figure out how to deal with this issue in the next few months) We don't know many people with younger kids, except my brother's family with a 1 year old who we only see a few times a year.
B) Trust: While we don't want Oliver to be friendly to any stranger he meets, we do want him to be happy and loving around adults he knows fairly well, and ones we tell and show him it's ok to be around. He starts off fine, then freaks out after a good 5-10 minutes - even if we've been hanging around the same people for several days. He's very clingy, and while I have read that toddlers go through this when they still can't communicate well and have reason to be insecure (I'm assuming a move would count as a reason) I wonder if this is more severe than that. However, even when he was 4 months old, he would cry when someone other than me or Nich would hold him...I'm SURE this is more on my part since I was so terrified he would stop breathing for the first year of his life and never let him out of my sight. Literally. While we've been working on that now (twice a week he's gone to a Mother's Day Out program from January-April, then a school from June til now where he has to be separated from me...and he does just fine after a good 5-10 minute crying session) I don't know that I see any improvement otherwise. He's even weird around Nich for a day after he's been pulling 14 hour shifts for several days in a row. At these times, I pull back and force Oliver to interact with Nich exclusively. That works and all is normal after a day. I'm not sure if it's just unrealistic expectations that Oliver should be immediately trusting and loving toward certain other adults, or if more work needs to be done there. I would love to have those particular adults take care of him without us for a few hours everyday we are visiting, but I don't think that's possible. This tactic has worked with Nich's parents (we'll go get dinner or something without Oliver in tow) and Oliver warms up to them within hours of our visits now. What do we do?

2. Time to Stop: Oliver is now starting to understand counting. He knows the number "two" really well. When we're playing or reading books, or something of that nature, when it's time to stop I say, "two more times, then let's do ____________." We show 2 fingers to each other and repeat two, then count one, two, then count each thing as we do them. (One book, two books. One ring-around-the-rosy, two ring-around-the-rosy, whatever it is.) Once we finish the last one, it's a tantrum. It's a good one. Especially if it's something like taking away the iPhone (we let him play learning games on it for a little while most days). While these tantrums are pretty much ignored and stop within a minute or so, (I've read ignoring the behavior is the best thing), what do we do in places not as casual as our house? Outside the house I'll try to redirect him with a distraction, or take him somewhere more private for him to scream. Sometimes this isn't an option though -
Do I become the lady at the store, outside the entrance in the 100 degree heat, with a 2 year old in my arms screaming and thrashing while my husband is still inside? Yes, I was that lady and the tantrum lasted until we drove out of the parking lot. It was a doozy of a tantrum. What do we do?
I'm especially stressed out about what to do when confronted with this problem where I am in a certain social situation and feel the pressure for him to be "the perfect child." Stupid? yes, but it's real and the people in these social situations hold these expectations. No, I can't avoid these situations. What do we do?

3. Frustration: How do you help a child who wants to do everything by himself, can't, then won't accept help? Perfect example...Oliver has a tricycle but his legs aren't quite long enough to do a complete rotation, so I push him with the large, built-in handle. He really enjoys this, but after a while wants to get off and push it himself. This works until he runs into the grass or the curb, then as he tries to maneuver it, it's too big and hard for him to control, and he gets MAD. When he calls for me, I go to help, but if I touch the trike or him, he screams "NOOOO" and tries to push it again. (Getting back on and going for a ride is not an option!) He finally ends up so frustrated, he's in tears on the ground and although I scoop him up and put the tricycle away, he gets even more upset that I've gone and taken it away - even if there's a new toy in it's place. I've seen so many little kids experience this, and I am at a complete loss as to what to do? Quite frankly, I don't know adults who handle frustration well, so what do we do?? He gets frustrated like this at times too when he's trying to communicate and I can't understand or guess correctly what he's wanting. Wanting to be so independent yet being so little, and unable to express himself has got to be one of the toughest rites of human passage. I'm very sure this is why our brain doesn't hold onto memories until we are around 4 or 5. Still, is there a way to make it less dramatic while teaching him healthy ways of dealing with frustration
So those are my issues, those are my questions. Nich keeps assuring me that Oliver is totally normal and we're doing a good job with him, and keeps pulling up studies and websites confirming all this, but I have others who's opinions I value, tell me that Oliver really IS that difficult and unpleasant to be around. Honestly, those words absolutely break my heart and mean more than a million studies Nich can ever show me. After pouring the last 3 years of my life into my little guy, it is so hard to hear that I'm so inept. So I'm asking for advice from the experienced parents, who've HAD 2 year olds, who remember the good and the bad of them, to give me some help.

This is how I think of my guy:

Totally in love with his goofiness!

Manly Stuff

2011-07-17T22:34:00.000-05:00

Nich's had a few days off now and he and Oliver were able to do some "real man stuff" in that time. Here's what they worked on today...baking cookies! Peanut butter cookies.

First, stir this. Add this. Stir some more. Add some more...

TASTE mmmmm

BIG manly cookies.

YEAH!

Taste again...

Forget it, eat cookie dough by the spoonful like Daddy does!

Chester is available to clean any toddler hands

Magic baking machine

Cookies!!

Ready to try some?

Oliver first...

Not to worry, the dogs each got their own cookies after LONGING for the peanut butter goodness.

And on a funny note: Oliver and I were going through his little booklet of artwork he made at his Mother's Day Out program in Lubbock. Here is a group of cartoon kids at the bottom of the front of the booklet. He started pointing to the kids and naming them...

Mamma first - has the red hair, makes sense. Oliver next, has braids...ok, confusing but sure. Then Daddy, the girl with the longest, curliest pigtails of all the little girls! I about died laughing. Oliver stuck to his story though, those were the 3 of us every time he pointed them out. Baaaaaaaaahahahahahaha!

Watercolors Take One

2011-07-14T00:01:00.000-05:00

Here's what we did this morning...watercolor! Watercoloring with a 22 month old is fun! He's super fast and loves dipping the brush in water. Can I just say, EVERYTHING has to be taped down. Oh yes. He was fascinated with black. Everything was in black, so I finally taped over the black paint so he had to choose another color. I'm pretty sure it's because that was the color easiest to reach, but I know his favorite color is purple, so not sure what the obsession was. Anyway, here are the pictures.

The finished artwork! I think they look cool! I took them away from him before he turned it all into a big muddy mess. This way you can still see the colors he chose, and he wouldn't get frustrated with soggy paper. We used real watercolor paper, and a step up from pigment-lacking kid's paints.

Since it was art day, I decided to go ahead and make a little project...Oliver loves 2 apps on Nich's phone that are basically like the game "Memory" where you flip over cards and try to match pairs based on your memory. He can do 16 cards now, so I decided to get him a set. Rather than buy them for $4, I made these for free with cardboard and crayons, and with Oliver's input on the pictures.

We played a few games with 12 pieces, but he has trouble with putting cards back in their original places after looking at them - something the iPhone does automatically. It's great seeing his brain at work and learning how to play a game with another person!

Baby Boy #3!

2011-07-13T23:27:00.000-05:00

Today we are 20 weeks along! Half way there!!! We've been more tight-lipped about this baby than with Oliver...not sure why. Maybe it's because we were so open about all the issues with his pregnancy and the complications, and this one has been comparatively SIMPLE and it's nice to just be normal and boring, and private :) We found out a few days before we left to look for a new house, and although the morning sickness and fatigue were pretty bad, it was so much better the 3rd time around. I feel like my body is getting better and better at each pregnancy, and each one is better than the last! Great news! With Julian, I had lost a good 8 pounds by 4 months, with Oliver I gained no weight until the 5th month (then I PACKED it on while on bedrest), and with this one, by month 5 I've gained 10 pounds. I find it fascinating how everything is different every time - my same body, babies are the same genders, yet all is totally different! This little guy isn't quite as active as Oliver, and already has a sleep schedule. I'm very hopeful this will continue since Oliver never had a schedule in the womb...or at least it wasn't on a 24 hour one...
Otherwise, I find it strange that I can often "forget" I'm pregnant with this one, and I'm literally suprised at times when I see my belly in the mirror. With Oliver, he's all I thought about and his every movement or lack thereof, consumed my every waking moment. I tend not to notice much this time around until this little one gives me a good kick or roll, or I find I can't bend in half very well anymore. It is WONDERFUL being cramp-free and being able to walk for hours, play with Oliver, and get stuff done like housework (blah) and gardening (yay) without having to stop every 10 minutes to rest for 45 or until the cramps are done for a good 10 minutes. I am SO HOPEFUL this means I won't have contractions this time around, and no bedrest for 3 months! Keep your fingers crossed!
We are already excited to meet this little guy, and we've seen him in glimpses in ultrasounds. Our new doctor doesn't have 4-D technology on his machines, so we're toying with the idea of going somewhere that specializes in that. It'd be fun to see this little one before he comes, but it also comes with a $400 price tag, yeouch! Also having trouble picking out a name, and those of you who know the whole "BANJO" thing will know what I'm talking about. Do we keep "BANJO..." or just switch it to "JO_" and forget the "BAN"? Or just pick a name willy nilly and throw out the whole BANJO thing? I don't know. We've got time, and afterall, Oliver didn't have his name until the day we left the hospital! But any suggestions are appreciated, we're totally stumped.
Anyway, here are some pictures of our ultrasounds:

At 6 weeks I had bleeding, so they took a look and all was fine! Fetal pole there with a tiny heart ticking away!

At 8 weeks, they did a follow up ultrasound to make sure the "threatened pregnancy" was no longer in danger. All was perfect, and it's interesting how well you can see the baby with the cord to the yolk sac. Never seen that before.

19 week ultrasound. My mother came to town to see this one! His heart rate was 149 BPM, and he was estimated at weighing 10 oz. All his measurements were PERFECT and all the organs looked spectacular - perfect heart, brain, already swallowing with liquid in the tummy and bladder, and hands were relaxed and open. Basically he's just chiling in there :)

Here's his profile

And here's a view from the top of his head - you can see the lenses in his eyes...kind of crazy looking!

And a foot shot for Ah Zaa :)

Here he is all curled up, comfy, sleeping.

And the crotch-shot! He was not shy at ALL. It's a boy!!

And I don't have my good photographer friends, Heather or Aimee here, so here's a photo of my 20 week belly for my records :)

This pregnancy has been wonderful so far, and it has really FLOWN by! I'd love family pregnancy pictures, and one where Oliver puts his hands on my belly and says "baby." He does that almost daily now, and I LOVE it! He has no idea how that's the same as the picture of the baby on his diaper box, but it's still way cute :) We're getting very excited to meet this little one, and are even considering working on the nursery BEFORE I'm 8 1/2 months along!

Two Months of Good Times!

2011-07-13T22:42:00.000-05:00

A few moments (in chronological order) I've managed to capture in the last few weeks since we've moved...

Duck Feeding. This guy shooed away all the other geese and ducks, and ate all the bounty himself.

Oliver's Aunt Liz, or Ah Zaa as he calls her, visited. They had a blast on the slides!

We'll go on three...1...2...

Waco Zoo with the Bartons. Oliver loved seeing the animals but was soon disinterested when he couldn't touch them. We stayed for a good 15 minutes at the elephants though...one was right next to the fence and Oliver kept trying to get in - hence no picture. Clearly we'll have to go again! Maybe the Ft Worth zoo next time?

Oliver saw a boy do this on "Yo Gabba Gabba"'s Cool Tricks section. He can now do it with almost any spoon! We're so proud

Had to capture this spaghetti-stained face

Reading to Daisy

With Grandpapa

Oliver has named this little giraffe my mother got him, "Zaa" after his favorite person in the whole world. He now sleeps with it and often carries it around the house. Very cute!

Books with Omama...we seriously read a good 2 hours a day...at Oliver's request. Yes, we just did a trip to the bookstore the other day to get some new books! I can only read "Mr. Brown Can Moo Can You?" so many times - a favorite of his :)

Nich built this sandbox one weekend. Good job on it huh? Oliver loves it and is now fascinated with covering his entire body with sand. Love that!

There are a lot more pictures somewhere of more shinanigans in Dallas and Houston, but those are scattered on other people's cameras. I love watching Oliver grow up, but it also means he's growing up! Ahhh! Can't I keep him little for, oh, a few decades?

New House!

2011-06-08T22:46:00.000-05:00

I finally got around to taking pictures of our new house today...it's still a work in progress but we're almost there! The pictures of the front were taken before we moved in, and the grass has greened up significantly since. So just imagine GREEN!

We really like the stone:

Detail of front door area:

The Living Room as seen from the kitchen - I love that I can watch Oliver play while I'm making dinner or doing dishes.

From the hallway:

From the couch: (We're liking the TV mount on this gorgeous fireplace!)

Kitchen as seen from living room:

From the laundry room: We love the granite on all the counter tops throughout the house!

The eating area...love the windows! Not sure what window treatments to do...any thoughts?

Where the magic happens, ha!

These pictures make the wall color kind of green and yellow's everything out, but it's the same paint as the rest of the house.

Oliver's room - he LOVES it!!

Notice Nich and my stuffed animals from our childhoods watching over Oliver :)

And the guest bedroom which will eventually be converted to a nursery when the time is right.

I hope you enjoyed the tour! We still need to figure out artwork and window treatments in the living room. We are considering hanging my paintings, but they are so faded at this point that I need to work on them, or do some new ones. So, there are big, empty spaces that we can't find cool enough stuff to hang there!

FOR FUN

The dogs enjoy their very own views (this is a single photo from the hallway where you can see both bedrooms, cool, huh?)

And Daisy enjoys the greened up back yard to do her sun tanning in!

We're loving the house and figuring out how to deal with way less storage...but it's working so far!

Dr. Nich Beer, M.D.!

2011-05-27T23:54:00.001-05:00

How strange is it that 4 years has already passed, and all the hard work, blood (literally), sweat, and tears has led to this one glorious occasion where the 150 medical students, their faculty, and honored guests, get to gather together in a giant hall and watch our beloved medical-student-family-member walk across the stage in a long black robe draped in cords and colors, wearing an 8-cornered tasseled hat, and get "hooded" (making it all very official) that somehow looks really cool in the building but really goofy as soon as the ceremony's over and it looks like a strange Halloween costume?

It is so surreal seeing my husband graduate from medical school and get hooded by our pediatrician, and realizing he is officially an MD! I am so so so impressed with him, and I don't think he'll ever realize just how proud I am of him! Yes, I'll admit I was trying (rather unsuccessfully) to hold back tears seeing him walk across the stage with that huge smile on his face, and Oliver was happily saying "Daddy" while pointing to Nich the whole time. What a wonderful moment :)

His graduating class

Here we are on graduation day - Me, Oliver, and Nich's parents, Gammy and "Choopatchoo."

The Three Beers

Last Lubbock Days

2011-05-27T23:29:00.000-05:00

We spent our last few days in Lubbock in the park and hanging out with friends. Feeding ducks old bread...Oliver ended up eating a lot of it...

WAIT! Come back!!

As Nich was hand-feeding the geese... those guys got violent after that with their hissing and chasing us around...we had to end their feeding session early and get to the playground.

Playground!

I'm not sure who looks more scared going down this slide...

Break-dancing moves!

And then playing with his best friends, the neighborhood kids after a delicious, cold Sonic slush!

What a great day! We miss our Lubbock life!

Springtime!

2011-05-27T23:06:00.000-05:00

Oliver's Mother's Day Out school did a cute little spring show before Easter, and it was adorable! Nich and I were able to go to the church and watch him and his buddies sing and dance to all kinds of kiddie songs. I've always enjoyed seeing little kids perform in front of their parents, but there is something so amazing about seeing your own little baby up there that just brings tears to your eyes! Seeing him so happy, and so BIG, I just imagined him growing up and all I wanted to do was capture this moment, and others like it, and keep him little and mine for as long as possible! These photos DON'T do it justice at ALL, but we do have video of this little show :)

The Program:

Being wheeled down to the sanctuary...

Looking for familiar faces in the audience. For all of our waving, he never saw us!

His sweet dance moves:

And then my whole family (minus Marian in Australia) came into town for Easter! We all dyed eggs and went hunting, but unfortunately several people fell ill, so the eggs were never eaten...but a lot of the chocolate was! My aunt made a DELICIOUS Easter lunch, and got all the necessary solid chocolate Easter bunnies for the occasion.

Here's Oliver with his uncle Sebastian and cuz Eliska...it IS Easter in this picture...ignore the jack-o-lantern.

The HUNT:

Of course the obligatory egg-on-the-car-tire

With his aunt Liz...do you think the birds really want to eat this egg, or did the Easter bunny put it there?

I wasn't feeling well when little Eliska went hunting, so I don't have pictures of her, but I did get Oliver searching :)
This was our last weekend in our Lubbock house, and hours after these photos were taken, our house was packed into boxes and driven (poorly) to our new house...that's another post though!

Eye of the Storm

2011-03-31T13:53:00.002-05:00

I know I don't like dull or routine, but I've also decided I don't like chaos. Life right now has been just a tad CRAZY with all the new things thrown on our plates! Not unexpected things, well, one unexpected thing, but not all at once! I found a list of all most stressful things people go through in their lives, and I realize we have a lot of them:

1. Change in job
2. Buy a house
3. Sell a house
4. Move to a new city
5. Car trouble
6. Financial uncertainty
7. Change in family structure

What we DON'T have on there (thank goodness) is divorce, jail time, or death/illness in the family. So, no one reading this is allowed to die or get deathly ill in the next few months, ok? Deal! According to this list and scale, we scored a 262. 0-149 is healthy, 150-299 is unhealthy and cut back, and 300+ is dangerous and consider seeing a professional. So, we're not over 300...but there are days it feels like it!!

We just went through a bunch of crazy with Match Day anticipation, selling this house, going to Dallas to drop of Oliver and dogs, going to Temple to house-hunt, finding a house, making an offer, having the offer accepted, meeting up with my awesome sister, Elisabeth (yay!), back to Dallas, back to Lubbock, previously pricing items for a garage sale, then having missed said block-garage sale to find a new house in time to close it on our Lubbock's house's closing (that would be nice except for the guilt of relying on our awesome neighbors to sell our stuff for us), getting an inspection, getting repairs made (still working on that one), getting the loan on our new house squared away (still working on that one), and lining up the moon and stars, plus a few planets, other moons, and oh yeah, that other solar system over there! I feel like it's been a CRAZY 2 weeks, and I can take a quick break this afternoon before it gets crazy again with family in town for Easter, packing and moving and praying the closing dates manage to magically line up and we're not homeless for a few days with all of our stuff sitting in a truck somewhere between here and Temple.

What am I most looking forward to? Not the end of all of this, but for Easter. We CAN'T WAIT to have my whole family in town to celebrate! It will be our last hoorah in this cute little house of ours. We expected it to be slightly less chaotic since the average to sell a house in Lubbock is ~100 days...we would just be making a deal around then, according to statistics. But it happened in 7, and although it's NUTS, I am enjoying not having to do dishes 3 times a day, pick up toys all day, and be prepared to take Oliver and dogs somewhere at a moment's notice. We are in a bit of a pressure-cooker, but luckily I'm not in need of a major break. At this moment, Oliver's at MDO, and I got a haircut this morning, then cleaned the house - not my perfect 100% cleaning to sell, just a 75% job. And I'm okay with that!

Hey Nich and Elisabeth! What do Viagra, eyeballs, and ugly brownish all have in common?

They're all last year's Easter eggs! Ha ha ha ha ha! These are here and ready to paint!

Letter Opening Ceremony

2011-03-18T18:51:00.000-05:00

So, let me start out by saying that the letter opening ceremony is bizarre. This ceremony takes place on "Match Day," the day when all 4th year medical students around the country find out where they matched for residencies. They serve cheese, crackers, grapes, and melon while everyone listens to a few speakers, then gets called up one by one to get their envelope containing the answer to the question...where will we be for the next 3, 4, 5 years? Which hospital liked me best? BUT, once you get it, you can't open your envelope. Big no no. You must wait. It's terrifying to sit there in "calm" silence. WAITING. Then some more chit chat. Finally, when the speaker announces everyone can open their envelopes, the only sound in the room is the tearing of 90 envelopes with the name-engraved letter openers everyone received when they walked in. Here is how it went down for us...

GETTING THE ENVELOPE:
(Oliver was making everyone "ooh and aww" by yelling "Daddy! Daddy!" over and over while Nich went up to get his envelope, then little O clapped and "whoop"'ed for him!)

THE OPENING OF THE ENVELOPE

THE REACTION:
I still didn't know if it was good news or not...happy? Disappointment? Give me SOMETHIN'!

THE OUTCOME: We got our first choice!! Whoop! Happy day!

And here's a picture of Oliver and me that someone shot...we were having a great time!

It's weird because all 3 medical students at our table got their first choice! How cool is that? The luck of the Irish on St Patty's Day? They DID have the professor from Ireland call out the names, so that MUST be it :) But I had been told previously that people tend to get their 4th or 5th choice, so don't hold my breath. OH THANK GOODNESS! 'Cause I hadn't mentally prepared myself to go somewhere else...I'm still not prepared that we're moving from where we already are! I am so glad we got good news!

And in case the whole medical career thing doesn't pan out...here's what Nich was doing later on that day...

Just a neighborhood barber right here! That's right, Nich was cutting our neighbor's, Justin's, hair with our tiny peanut. It started as a joke, that turned into a mohawk, then he left him with an actual reasonable buzzed head. Oh yeah, except for the bloody ear. Oh yeah, and the bald straight-edge spot by his left ear. But other than that, a great haircutting experience! Justin didn't want to buy the salon products Nich was trying to push on him, nor did he mention he'd come back for a second experience.

Hmmm, on second thought, that medical career better pan out.

Also a good thing barbers and surgeons aren't the same career anymore. :)

Four-Legged Friends

2011-03-18T14:28:00.000-05:00

I believe certain animals are assigned to certain people, when those people have a need for that particular friendship. I have always felt this way, and was reminded so much of it when my own best friend and confidante of 14 years, Shadow, passed away two years ago, two weeks before I gave birth to Oliver. It was almost like she was saying she knew I needed both a fantastic, loving husband, and beautiful, healthy child to replace her. And it's true :)

Yesterday, my brother's sweet little 11 year old Aussie, Sydney, passed away unexpectedly. We were just discussing how different life was for him just 11 years ago, and how much Syd witnessed and watched as he went through different relationships, jobs, cities, houses, and finally marriage and parenthood. It is amazing how much we rely on the love and loyalty of these sweet critters, and their perfect, boundless, unconditional friendship of these guys. Here is Sebastian and Sydney

And Elisabeth with her sweet little Roman:

My mother and her constant companion and protector, Bucko:

Me and my sweetheart, Shadow:

I know I am thankful to Shadow for bringing out my softer side, showing me how to outwardly express love, getting me through college, a move to Dallas, failed relationships, an abusive relationship, a dangerous date-rape encounter...then she fell in love with Nich so quickly that I knew he was a good guy, was there for our marriage...plus her trusting the missionaries so much that I even went to their church and eventually converted...she was such a support through 6 failed pregnancies, the death of our firstborn, and she finally let go when she knew all would be ok when Oliver was just two weeks away from coming home with us.

I know the 4 people here have amazing, strong stories of how these animals have supported them and helped them in their lives at JUST the time they needed that silent, furry strength, or soft place to fall. Here is to all those sweethearts we have 10,000 names for and not enough room in our hearts for.

Cool Kid!

2011-03-16T22:27:00.000-05:00

Here's our cool kid! Got some happenin' shades in the morning...

...then some game time with Daddy in the afternoon!

This face is HILARIOUS!!

Adorable, yes? :)

We Matched!

2011-03-15T22:08:00.000-05:00

Nich matched for a residency program!! We find out where on Thursday, but we're happy to know he is for SURE going SOMEWHERE! It's a little (a lot) anxiety inducing, but Nich's way relaxed now, and I'm the one with butterflies and knots in my stomach! I think it's because I was never worried IF he would match, and that bothersome voice in the back of HIS mind kept questioning if he would...but his bothersome voice has been silenced, and mine is now racing! Keep your fingers crossed for our first choice...and your toes crossed, and your eyes crossed. You know, for good measure!

In the meanwhile, I decided to take pictures of things in our house and on our property to help remember our cute little Lubbock house.

The hardest part about leaving is, this is where SO many memories are. This is the house both of our children came home to, where Shadow passed away, where we got Chester and Daisy, where Oliver's friends are...they're more like his big brothers and sisters :) Oh my! How do you leave a house like this? I know we'll make more new memories somewhere else, but I miss this house already!

BUT we had three viewings today, and one on Saturday. "They" say after 8 you should get an offer...so we're close-ish, right?

Are you kidding??

2011-03-10T23:28:00.000-06:00

Ok, I don't normally get political here, but I've been appalled by some of the things going on in our country. While I am SURE the morality-meter of this country is seriously in the danger zone, I think people are going about trying to sway it back in equally bad ways. Ever since my thoughts on the promiscuity of the next generation, I've been more sensitive than normal about just how scary things will be for my son growing up.

Sometimes I watch the news, and sometimes, when I’m being really lazy, I rely on Jon Stewart of the Daily Show for my news. The other evening, while watching Comedy Central’s version of the news, I was surprised to see the topic of abortion back in full swing in the political arena. It’s been a while since it’s gotten much attention, so I suppose it is due. With all the issues going on in our world right now – what with half the countries in the Middle East holding protests or civil wars and trying to kick out their various cruel, and/or insane, and/or corrupt dictators, and people in OUR country are more pissed off that our gas prices are going up because of it rather than the hardships and human lives lost in these battles for freedom and democratic governments, and the growing turmoil going on that could erupt in WWIII (in my opinion) – I am surprised abortion is even being brought up for 24 hour debate among the various “news” channels. Even more so, the new strategy to sway more people to be pro-life.

My personal views on abortion aside, one group of pro-lifers is trying to compare the lack of rights and freedoms and ability to be a person the African Americans during (and after) the days of slavery had to live with, to the lack of rights, freedoms, and the ability to be a person to people in the womb. To me, that SCREAMS such an extreme lack of understanding and compassion, and such complete ignorance and outright offensiveness. I can’t believe someone has the cahonas to go on TV and expect to win over modern-day African Americans by trying to equate their ancestors’ struggles to human embryos’ struggles. First off, the people who endured this cruelty and less-than-human status were people with developed brains, thoughts, and feelings; with memories and the daily lifelong struggle that has affected this community for GENERATIONS. How can anyone, with a serious face, possibly claim the “people” in the womb are suffering the same lack of civil rights? These “people” aren’t yet people! No formed brain and no sense of self, memory, or concept of anything at all – ESPECIALLY when most abortions occur – the first 8 weeks of a pregnancy. It is beyond belief! It’s like standing in the Room of Shoes claiming the Holocaust never happened. These “people” in the womb don’t have any of the characteristics of past slaves, apart from being genetically human. Is it because the religious argument wasn’t working on the entire population that someone decided it was a good idea to tie it to the suffering of an entire race of people? Really?? It’s offensive at best.

I do believe in human rights, and that an unborn baby in a healthy mother should be given the chance to live (exceptions of rape and incest, in my view). With all of the struggles we’ve had in having our sons, how can I not? Are you surprised I hold this view? However, I don’t know that the law is the place for that…it seems more of a personal and religious issue within the person considering doing it. I don’t like the idea of abortion, and there are few things sadder than the thought of late term abortions – that IS murder in my opinion. My views come from my personal experience with pregnancy – I struggle with people like myself who would do, and DID, anything to keep a pregnancy and give birth to a healthy baby, but then also seeing all the pregnant 12 year olds at the high-risk-pregnancy clinics who were anything but equipped to raise a child…surely not all of them would make the decision to hand the baby over to a caring, loving, desperate adoptive family. But in the case of embryo=slave, you can’t equate apples and mini-blinds. It doesn’t work.

And have you seen these billboards?

Obviously these are very controversial, and were almost immediately taken down, but they got their intended shock-value and 15 minutes of fame. These were based on a statistic that was interpreted to be that black women have three times the abortions as white women, and if all the aborted babies had been born, the black population in the United States would be doubled.

If you're wanting to piss off a lot of people by being totally offensive and guilt-inducing, congratulations. If the goal was to bring awareness to the issue of unprotected sex and prevention of unwanted pregnancies, yeah, not so much!

And you know what no one's talking about, that I can see? How to fix this. It's not by banning abortions - there are always dark allies and coat hangers. And I don't think in THIS country it's purely a lack of education on how babies are made or lack of access to birth control ($4 birth control pills are hard to beat). I think it's the lack of education on the value of physical intimacy. No one talks about THAT in this day where people are famous for sex tapes and reaching triple digits in their number of sexual conquests. THAT'S what we need to be teaching in this country - abortion is not a form of contraception, and getting pregnant with someone you are completely involved with, in love with, and sharing your life and future with is a whole lot different than getting pregnant from a booty-call or one-night-stand.

If we're going to discuss the value of life in this country, let's do it without the shock and offensiveness. Let's get to the disease instead of the symptoms. The tacky billboards and ridiculous comparisons only polarizes each side that much more, and doesn't open a true discussion - just an argument.

Just my opinion.

I've got the turquoise-blues

2011-03-10T12:40:00.000-06:00

Is it bad that I've already started a design folder of what I wish I could do to our new house? And is it bad that we don't even have a new house? Ha ha ha!! I think I'm done with the rustic, Tuscan, OLD feeling of this house? Ok, mostly the OLD feeling. I'm ready for new and clean, and that, apparently, translates to whites, creams, blues, and muted turquoises in my mind. The expresso brown furniture we have will look beautiful with it too. Here are two I'll share:

Too bad we can't do that much white with a toddler and 2 indoor dogs. But my brain keeps making all kinds of design decisions to conquer the dog hairs and sticky fingerprints. Speaking of which, I LOVE sticky fingerprints. They don't drive me crazy, and I hate having to clean them off the glass. They are so cute! Am I the weirdest mother out there? They're not cute because they're so tiny (okay that's one reason they are) but because I can just imagine Oliver's face smushed against the glass right alongside his little sticky/dirty/greasy hands. He's got to be the greatest little 18 month old out there! Well, to me he is :)

Ok, I should go clean something. Vacuum. Be productive since I have some time to myself right now. But I WILL be painting a LOT in our new house. Can you hear Nich sighing? Feel his eyes rolling? Ha ha ha!

Organize ME!!

2011-03-08T14:30:00.000-06:00

In moving preparations I've gotten my house as clean and organize as I have the energy for, and trying to keep it that way is rough. It's a full, uninterrupted hour of work every morning to get it to "pristine" (as pristine as is possible with the Lubbock dust and winds, two indoor dogs, husband and 18 month old little boy) then another hour in the evening to recover from the day, in which I am constantly picking up and cleaning something. I got all the closets organized, bookcases presentable, bathroom cupboards organized, and surfaces decluttered, but I stopped short of kitchen cabinets. Without a pantry, it's tough to keep all our food, pots, pans, spices, dishes, silverware, serving platters, freezer containers, and so on, all organized. When we moved into our then-forclosed house, the kitchen was so filthy and roachy that we were terrified to keep anything in the cabinets below the counter. (It is no longer that way, and they've been cleaned...) but since day one, we have put stuff wherever it would fit rather than truly organize it. Baking stuff was mixed with pasta and hot chocolate mix would be hanging out next to tuna fish...it was a mess. To get the sugar out, we would have to move all of Oliver's snacks and things out of the way. Oh yeah, aside from the crazy we had BEFORE the baby, the lack of making space for his stuff made the mess, messier. With the cupboards closed, no one knows, and for me, out of sight is definitely out of mind. THEN...

I was reading a neighbor-friend's blog for the first time the other evening. It is called Organize Me 2010, and upon reading through her road to organization - her starts, and stops, her large and small accomplishments, feelings of HOORAH and defeat, all in the first year of her first child's life - I was inspired to tackle one particular kitchen cabinet that had been bothering me more than the others. It's the cereal cabinet that also houses water, picnic items, snacks and other assortment of edible and non-edibles. Stuff had been crammed in there that we weren't even sure what we had (I found out we DID have a jar of peanuts after all, who knew?) and if you breathed wrong, a plastic bowl might come crashing down from the highest shelf. So, I went in, and re-did the whole thing. I was happy with the result, and I don't think Nich noticed, ha ha ha! Such a guy :)

The next evening, I went to grab a bowl of cereal, when I noticed the GIANT box of goldfish in Oliver's snack basket, and it was just so ugly. I'm overly-observant of these things in my "pristine house," so I decided I would put the goldfish in the cupboard. Well, they didn't fit. So in an attempt to tidy of the small 18"x10" basket, I reorganized the entire pantry section of my kitchen.

I didn't think to take "befores" of the chaos that existed behind closed doors, but here are the "afters."

The first cabinet...the troublemaker.

Hey look! Pasta with pasta, cans with cans...so much better!

I found THREE white vinegars...what on EARTH do we need 3 vinegars for??? Lots of pickles in our future...

And 3 things of cornstarch. WHY? That's what happens when you can't find anything! Oh yeah, and 4 things of brown sugar. Again, WHY? What will we possibly do with all of that?

Anyway, it took most of the morning, and Oliver kept me great company! He enjoyed throwing away the expired cans I found, ancient spices, and "sharing" the stool I was standing on. He's teeny, but not so teeny on the 6"x12" stool... He did manage to dump a jar of seasoning salt all over the floor. That was like walking on sand. Very savory sand. Not fun. BUT, our kitchen smelled like something delicious was cooking for the rest of the day which made it hard to not eat a ton. Especially since I now know where everything is!

Addiction

2011-03-06T19:12:00.000-06:00

Yep, I think I'm addicted. I'm having too much fun drawing people right now and neglecting my normal routine of washing dishes and vacuuming...but I'm so going with it! I didn't have as much time today, so here's 2 people in about the time I drew Oliver yesterday...about 2 hours or so. And what is it with wanting to draw children/babies? I don't know, but I have tons to pick from!

I could pick these apart, but I've decided to just keep working at it. I know I'm not getting the expression on this baby girl right. She looks happy, but not as totally elated as in the photo. But I'M sure enjoying getting back into drawing!

AND, these gorgeous girls are my little niece and sister-in-law.

Sketch #2: Oliver

2011-03-05T18:37:00.000-06:00

Attempt #2.
As I was doing this sketch, I kept thinking...the thing I love about the magic of make-up is the exact thing that makes drawing recognizable people so dang HARD. The way you use eye shadow and blush to contour your features and make yourself look slightly different is the same way you shade in a picture. The slightest area too dark or too light makes the countours of the face change drastically. All the lines in your sketch can be perfect, but if you shade wrong, you'll get a different person than the one in your photograph. And, the more familiar the person to you, the tougher it is - it is so HARD to draw yourself even though you know your face better than most other people's. Weird? Yes. So here's my second attempt, and my son at that!

I like this sketch much better and am getting a little more confident in the chance I might be able to draw again soon! This one was somewhere between 1 1/2 - 2 hours, so since it's 3-4 times longer than the first one, it should be 3-4 times better. I think so. It looks like Oliver to me, but not quite. The nose is in the wrong place, but it's getting there. Phew! I might still need to make the top of his head taller too. I might try that sometime, or just leave it. I can't tell right now...maybe if I look at it again in a few days I'll see more of the mistakes and how to fix them. For now, I'm feeling a little better!

The Evolution of this sketch:

Step 1: Basic sketch

Step 2: Fix some of the details in the shape and shadow shapes

Step 3: Begin shading and make eyes look "wet"

Step 4: Block in shadows and leave highlights - the less you erase, the better

Step 5: Adjust details, darken darks so highlights are more visible

Step 6: Adjust anything that needs a change...in this case, the top of the head needed to be bigger and rounder, and the cheek less round.

Art-Hands

2011-03-03T17:20:00.000-06:00

Art-Hands, is that like Sea-legs? And is that like riding a bicycle? Oh, so many metaphors. I'm confused too!

It's been a LONG time since I've sat and drawn something, and even longer since I've drawn a human...so I'm trying to get back into it some. I promised a friend I would do a graphite drawing of her three gorgeous kiddoes, and then I thought, you know, I should really make sure I can draw again. She gave me this cute sketchbook as "prepayment" for the drawing (hopefully she's not too disappointed, ha ha ha!) so I thought that was the perfect place to begin a few sketches and get my art-hands back. Well, I'm a bit disappointed in myself for not having touched pencil to paper in so long...about 3 years? So here is my first attempt. I will say, in my defense, that I wanted to make the hair look fuller, have a different hair-style, and bring the baby closer to the mother's face. I'm not happy with this at all, but it was just a 30 minute sketch while waiting for a realtor to come look at the house today. I'll work on drawing some more and bring my skills back to where they once were before I start her project!

Yeah, it needs some work, but I thought I'd share my attempt. Maybe I'll share a more successful one later!

House for Sale!

2011-03-02T12:43:00.000-06:00

This is our house. It is for sale. You know someone who wants to buy it. Right? Please say yes!

(In fairness, it's not this lively right now, this picture was taken right before winter, but I promise the plants come back like this every year! In fact, the roses have tiny leaves growing and the Mexican feather grasses are already greening up again)

I'm interviewing a few realtors on Thursday to find someone we want to sell with, then it will be on the market soon after. BUT, if there are any takers before that, the price will be better since we won't have to deal with realtor expenses :) It's a 3 bedroom, 2 bath, 2 car garage. We're in the $95,000 price range and we're about 8 minutes from UMC. Have I mentioned we have awesome neighbors?

Living Room - notice the ceiling, the beams, the arches, and the fireplace - we love the character these bring to the house.

Through the archway is the kitchen and dining area. There are french doors to the right of the kitchen table that lead out to the back yard.

And the Master Bedroom - more arches, and french doors into the back yard.

There is a sink nook (common in this style of house) that leads to the bathroom on the right, and closet on the left. (This bathroom was redone the same time the other one was, and is in the same colors and tile - see below)

Bedroom #2 (with walk-in closet)

Bathroom #2 - completely gutted, ripped to the studs, and redone in 2008.

Bedroom #3 - also with a walk-in closet

The laundry facilities are inside next to the kitchen, and there is a large coat closet next to the front door, and a large linen closet in the hallway that lead to Bathroom #2, and Bedrooms 1 & 2.
We have been very happy in this house and are sad to leave it.

Did I mention the new water heater installed in 2010? Yeah, after that first hard freeze...it was about 20 years old, so I guess it was time.

Crazy Cat People

2011-03-01T11:43:00.000-06:00

Cute picture, huh? Well this story ends in a trip to the vet's office this week...
Jayde, a female cat who brought her 6 feral kittens to come live in our garage with the three other cats who have taken residence there, brought our already too many cats to WAY too many cats. We are officially the crazy cat people on the block with somewhere around ten cats. These are the ones smart enough to use the cat door originally installed for Belle, the first cat who kind of came with the house. Thankfully, there are many many dumb, or too fearful cats who won't try to push through the transparent piece of plastic into the safe and cat food-filled garage. So here we are. In fear of Jayde deciding it was a good idea to have her next litter with us, we got her snipped. No more kittens for her. She and her 6 kittens had this strange relationship where she was always mother to them, and they never really grew out of kitten stage - they still "nursed" when they were the same size as their mother, and even after she had been fixed...and she still cleaned them like they were tiny and helpless. So very strange. Anyway, she has since disappeared (she'd been making her absences longer and longer, so I'm hoping she found a better house) and two of her kittens have been taken. We are down to 7 cats if you're counting. 3 of the 4 remaining kittens are calm enough to pet (it's been 5 months, I sure hope so) with one little female (groan) who will only get within a yard of me. She is like her mother, I see her occasionally and I'm guessing she's going to be moving on sometime soon. The three left are one female, two males, none fixed.
You can tell where I'm going with this...we knew it would happen one day. These kittens would grow up. I, along with the other 5 male cats, noticed a Tom stalking the house. Oh no. He's wild and no amount of growling and hissing by the "three less-than-men-cats" is keeping him away. The two boy kittens are in awe of him, maybe because he smells like a ~~MAN~~ CAT, I don't know. But I knew it was going to happen, I just hoped I could keep it from Nich until I got the kittens fixed, since I knew he would flip out.

Pulling into the driveway from church we see little girl cat and Tom in the neighbor's yard. Her tail up, belly to the ground, rubbing her cheeks all over Tom, Tom drooling all over himself, brothers watching in intense curiosity from a yard away. Nich. Flips. Out.
From the car, all we can do is watch this strange and what should be a private moment (in the neighbors yard in front of her brothers, us, and God) as Nich is shouting, "What?? WHAT?? Why aren't the brothers stopping this?? Why aren't they protecting her?? They're just watching!!" I died laughing. They've probably already done the deed 20 times, and these are CATS, and the brothers are watching closely so they can try this new maneuver too. I tell Nich she probably has at least 5 suitors who will be next, and he goes A-wall, storms out of the car toward the "slut cat" (and many other names as he stomps toward them). Tom runs, kittens scatter, all is safe for now.
Cats 1, Nich 0.
I went to take a sleeping Oliver inside, and next thing I see, Nich's got a racket ball and headed for the door. "I'm going to kill a cat" is all I hear as he tries not to slam the door and wake Oliver. If you know Nich, this is hilarious! He's a teddybear and wouldn't hurt anything, so seeing him this enraged and on a cat-hunt is crazy!
Cats 2, Nich 0.
Fast forward to 3 AM that night. Daisy is whining at the garage door and has gotten Chester very excited by something going on in there. I turn on the light, look into the garage, and there they are. Little girl cat with her brother, him clumsily mounted on her but not sure what the next step is. Her patience is growing thin (it seems he's tried this a few times without success) and he's too excited to notice. My heart sank. Ugh, Yuck. Really? I knew it would happen, didn't want to SEE it though, UGH!!
Fast forward 8 AM that morning. The THREE of them have an appointment to get their fun-bits removed. UGH!
Cats 3, Humans, won.

Days 6 & 7

2011-03-01T10:40:00.000-06:00

Day 6 there was an all-day, huge dust storm with winds averaging 35-40 mph, and gusts of 60-65 mph. Walking outside felt like tiny pins were hitting you and no matter how tight you kept your lips, grit got in your mouth and eyes. The sky was orange with Lubbock dirt and the average visibility was less than 1 mile. Needless to say, I didn't venture out for pictures, and we barely made it to church that day! So...I decided to drive around a little today to find my last pictures of beauty. I was worried that I couldn't top the sunset (my favorite so far is the sunset behind the silhouetted pecan trees) but this gorgeous cactus, growing in my neighborhood, has caught my eye several times. Most of the plant is dying off thanks to the deep freeze, but there are several parts (are they leaves? what are these things called anyway?) that look like they're going to pull through, and have been enjoying the sunny days as much as I have!

And this one is kind of cheesey and weird, and totally out of place. But I have to say I really appreciate these stoned murals on the sides of overpasses. Freeways can be such hideous things, but I really like that the designer decided to make this one pretty. (And I'm glad Lubbock ok'd the cost). This particular overpass is in a really UGLY part of town, where there are far too many run down telephone poles, old, dirty shops, trash everywhere, and construction tape and barrels all over the place. (Slide and 33rd/34th for you locals) Seeing this salute to the cotton industry here always makes me smile. I've shared this sentiment with Nich, who thinks I'm kind of nuts, ha ha ha!

And Oliver rough-housing with his daddy. I think Nich's teaching him a few wrestling moves from his high school days :)

Day 5

2011-02-26T23:04:00.000-06:00

A west Texas sunset:

This is what it looked like in the East:

Most evenings, this is what we are blessed to see! These are pictures from my front yard...the pecan trees are across the street, and the pink sky hangs over the field right next to our house.
This particular evening, several guys of the neighborhood were playing a game of HORSE in our driveway, the kids were chasing each other around the yard, and the ladies were chatting about the future block-garage-sale taking place in a few weekends. These are the evening I will miss when we move!
On a side note...the end of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, where Indie and his father ride off into the sunset, was filmed in this area because it is known for such gorgeous sunsets. How amazing is that!

And now for the Oliver picture:

With this setup, he is tall enough this week to "dunk" it! A few weeks ago, he couldn't reach it, but...man he's growing fast! Today while I was photographing him play with his Daddy, I couldn't help but wonder how I got so lucky. An amazing husband, an equally amazing little boy. I don't believe there are words that describe the absolute joy I feel, having this perfect little boy call me "Mama" everyday. ME! I still think, "Oh, that's me!" There is nothing comparable, and I love those two little syllables in his baby voice more than any other word. Ok, I'm done being mushy...I know I am blessed and I try not to take it for granted. I love my guys!

Day 4

2011-02-26T08:37:00.000-06:00

I didn't post yesterday, but Nich and I met these little guys while driving around on the way to some delicious lunch after he got several cavities filled, and before he went back to work :) He's not in pain today, so I think that means he DOESN'T need another root canal - good news! But they had to go really close to the nerve to fill one of them, so that was a bit of a fear until the numbness wore off. I know I need to go to the dentist...it's been, what, 16 years now? Eeek!!! I think I can actually SEE a good 3-4 cavities. They don't hurt...but I might be the one in need of several root canals, blah. I'm debating on going to the dentist Nich saw (and the one our neighbors like and use, and our neighbor who repairs dental equipment says is one of the cleanest, best offices he's been in - that's saying a lot, he's sees it ALL), or the one a friend recommended because, one, he remembers his patients even outside the office, and two, he's good at what he does and there's a dental hygienist there who's really gentle, and three, he's super HOT. According to her...I don't know I haven't seen him, ha ha ha. Our neighbor has not been to his practice, so had no info on the REAL cleanliness behind the scenes...

Anyhoo, here's the bit of beauty for the day:

He's so FUZZY! Love that! And there was a big sign that said it was ok to pet them, so I, of course, obliged! they were sweethearts, these two miniature horses.

And there were a few regular horses out there too, so in my excitement, I took a few of them too. Here's the lady who came over to greet us:

And the Oliver picture for the day. He enjoys laundry folding days - it's a new toy! I think we'll look back at pictures like this and think, wow, were you REALLY that little?!?! We are so in love with this little guy! His latest attempts at conversation are repeating "dumbadumbadumbadumb." SO CUTE!!

Day 3

2011-02-24T18:40:00.000-06:00

I've seen this old, abandoned building several times, and have always thought it looked pretty...in that worn down and decrepit sort of way :) . I specifically love the roof and the way the shingles are haphazardly falling off. The golden field (not the same one from yesterday) makes it look so romantic, and the blue sky makes it look very "Little House on the Prairie" -ish. Hmmm, that 's the second time I've mentioned that show. I haven't seen any episodes lately so I'm not sure where that's coming from...maybe Lubbock's ag-culture is finally soaking in! And right as we're about to move! Oh well, if we're in Temple next, it won't be too different. Maybe. I don't know. Do they have much farming out there? Pretty sure they're not big on cattle lots and such. What DO they do out there? Well, besides have Scott & White? I've visited once, and still don't know, ha ha ha!

And here's the Oliver picture for the day. He's laughing at Chester and Daisy running circles around him. With that pole and the two "wild" animals, it reminds me of a horse trainer at the center of a corral, trying to calm two wild stallions...ok, Chester and Daisy are not nearly as graceful, or fast, but they're noisy enough!

Day 2

2011-02-23T19:53:00.000-06:00

Today's picture is a tie. I couldn't decide between the field of wild grass or the birds perched above it, so here's both!

Oliver was a trooper hanging out in the car, eating snacks, and singing to Enya as I drove around for inspiration. After running a few errands, we came home and Oliver ran off to play with the neighborhood kids. Here's a picture I snapped of our "little rascals" trying to coordinate a little red wagon.

7 Days - Day 1

2011-02-22T12:49:00.000-06:00

Today is another overcast, chilly day so rare in Lubbock. The Leo in me is reminded why I wasn't a huge fan of living in Holland, as I wait for weather.com's promise of a sunny day in the 70's later in the week. I know so many people who love the gray skies and the way the filtered sunlight plays on the world's colors, but I am not one of those people. I slow down on these days - my mood, my energy, my motivation. So, I have decided to take on a fun challenge, of sorts. I am no photographer, but I have decided to challenge myself to find and record beauty in my life over the next seven days...I've heard of 100 day challenges, and even 365 day challenges, but I'm starting with 7. That, I know, even I can commit to! I am a little worried about where to find it since I believe this is such a difficult task in February...before plants begin waking up from their winter hibernations and animals allow themselves to be seen. So, here I am on this lazy morning with the most precious, raspberry-yogurt-stained, book-reading, cuddly little boy on my lap..."Jack's Big Music Show" humming in the background...wondering what we'll get into today. Looking out of the back door, calling for Chester and Daisy to come back in, I saw what I think I will count as my first sighting for my first day.

Although these are treetops against the clouds, something about the photograph reminds me of a quiet, calm beach. Maybe that's what drew me to it!

And I know there are people who check this blog mostly to see pictures of Oliver...so here's one of my favorites from our traditional Beer-homemade-Christmas-pizza dinner from December 25. This is his first time eating pizza, and Nich's pizza at that. He LOVED it, can you tell from that giant smile?

The latest dish

2011-02-13T23:54:00.000-06:00

We love dark wood. Chocolatey, rich, heavy, wooden furniture. Our bed, dresser, tables, china cabinet, crib, ceiling beams, kitchen cabinets...everything in shades of dark expresso. Even our picture frames. We like the feeling of old, comfortable, and familiar, and it seems to be a trend in everything we own...even down to our shoes.

I've noticed I've been thinking a lot, maybe too much, on life and how my outlook on it is changing. My last few posts are examples of the randomness my mind has been conjuring up lately. It may be because we're about to move and start a new chapter in our lives, or we're getting pregnant soon (another chapter to add to the new chapter), or as delve deeper into my 30's, fears of midlife are approaching, or I am so far away from my family, or I'm really, I mean really, noticing my shrinking family with all but one grandparent passed away, and I miss my Granny so much lately. Whatever it is, I have this urge to cleanse, change, and lighten everything.

My mother once told me she always knew I was having an emotional issue as a child when I would come down the stairs in a crazy outfit - the crazier the getup, the more something was bothering me. I do that now with haircuts and jewelry (not the expensive kind) and re-decorating. The artist in me somehow can't put these things on watercolor paper like I should; I do it all very physically. And loudly. I smile as I say this because I know my husband is going to think of about 25 times he's seen this as he reads this post.

So here I am wanting to redecorate. Not just with different accent pillows, throws, and the random plant or rearrangement of miscellaneous decor. I mean redo everything. I want to create new paintings to hang (I should, these are about 11 years old and fading rapidly), change the carpeting, change the wall colors, everything. Not that we have the budget to do any of this...and I suppose it's good we're moving so I can start with a new canvas...but unlike our last move to here, we won't have a pretty savings to use to help fix up our next house. Which leads me to...

We came across a Dillard's gift card Nich received several Christmases ago (this card has been lost and found all over Texas, and it is currently FOUND and in my purse) and since no one knew how much was on the card anymore, we went to the store and found it was for a GOOD amount of money. It's been burning a hole in our pockets, and we're trying to decide whether practicality should win over playful. It's is ultimately Nich's decision...but I can dream :)

Here's what I want: new dishes.

I would describe our dishes as "rustic." Clearly made of heavy clay and glazed in earth tones. They are square with rounded corners, and make even the most elegant and prissy meals look hearty and homey. At least, we think so. They are casual, dark, and familiar, like our heavy wooden furniture. BUT They're also getting chipped and many have become the casualties of a hard tile floor.

We found a gorgeous set of dishes at Dillard's that we both actually agree on (Nich's initiative I might add, which I love!) They too are rustic, but that is all they share with our current set. They are white, clean, round, and far more decorative. But, they LOOK old. They could have belonged to my great grandmother, or Mrs. Ingles (from Little House on the Prairie. I never wanted to be Laura, I always wished to be Mrs. Ingles...but that's a whole nother story). The decorative motifs are delicate, raised, and look worn. Familiar I suppose.

Aren't they beautiful? And they have a whole line of serving dishes and gorgeous cake stands! LOVE these!

I have never been one to gravitate toward dishes with loud patterns or band of color around the edges. I also want each piece to look different. This line has the octagonal option, and the salad plates are amazing with 4 different motifs and shapes.

I know it's funny to talk about dishes in this way, but man, I really like these! Just imagining helps calm my desires for drastic redecoration. We'll see what finally comes of the gift card...fun or functional...or FUNctional! Ok, yes, I'm a dork, ha ha ha!

Mall Contemplations

2011-02-07T19:40:00.000-06:00

The other evening, in one of the first times we've been able to leave the house as a family since all the ice and Nich's late work schedule, we went to the mall. We were clearly not the only ones in need of an outing...it was absolutely packed! It was almost claustrophobic with so many people out and about. There was such a variety of people, young, old, families, teens, tweens, couples, everything...and everyone was so happy! Oliver picked up on the high spirits and played with the velcro on his shoes for a good hour and a half while sitting in the stroller, people watching, as we moved from store to store.

I have to say I was doing a bit of people watching myself, and one thing that stood out to me more than the people with daring hair, all-black get-ups, slooooow walkers, too short-shorts, and crazy shoes, were two things...the teen moms and the young child-couples in adult-bodies.

When I was in 6th grade, I remember being able to count on one hand the number of girls with more than an A in their cups. It was 3 girls, all of whom were very popular and hung out with older kids. The mall was filled with 12 year old girls with these woman bodies...hips and C's and D's...clinging to their boyfriends who still looked like awkward boys with patches of peach-fuzz masquerading as mustaches. Young teen-love is so sweet to me since I remember those days fondly, but I don't ever remember EVER being as physically involved as these young couples. I had two "boyfriends" in my tween years whom I never even kissed. We barely even spoke...we were an item in name only, and that meant we had someone to dance with at school dances. That was back when just liking someone, or knowing someone liked you, was over-exciting in and of itself.

It was so sad to see these girls and boys in what looked like heavy-duty relationships...and although I don't know what all their relationships entail, I did see several 15 year-old-looking girls pushing around babies and young toddlers in strollers. Now, these could be younger siblings, but what girl goes to the mall with another girlfriend and her baby sister? As in a 6 month old. There was only one young mom I saw with what I assumed was the father, pushing around an 8ish month old. They were all out having a good time, but it really made me, well, just sad for these little girls who have these 12 year old brains in 20 year old bodies.

It makes me think about people who have over-the-top sweet-16 parties and extravagant prom weekends, and all these occasions where thousands of dollars are spent. How do you celebrate better than that for say, a wedding? If you're doing all the cool, expensive things when you don't know what a dollar is really worth, and you always have to top it at the next event, where can you go next besides taking out loans of "monopoly money" for a 5 hour party instead of a place to live?

For these girls who are already having such mature romantic relationships before more life experiences, a developed adult brain, control over their hormones, and the ability to predict realistic outcomes, how are they going to fair in relationships adulthood? There are so many unforeseen issues in sexuality and intimacy that tend to occur when people start physical relationships so young, and I know I have fallen into some of it's pitfalls. Not that I was THAT young, but still, looking back, far too young. It scares me and saddens me of what these girls don't know that they don't know.

That leads me to the man I'm trying to raise: he will no doubt have to deal with his hormones, with puppy-love, and all the choices on how to respectfully and properly handle friendships and relationships with mature looking little girls. Maybe he'll be one of the very few boys who matures faster than the others now that puberty seems to be starting younger and younger. Or will, in his day, all the 12 year old boys have 15 year old bodies? How do I teach Oliver to not fall into this all too common relationship-situation that most people decide "happened on its own"? Oh it worries me and makes me want him to stay a little boy for that much longer!

Snow Day #2

2011-02-02T21:23:00.000-06:00

Because there was nothing to do again today, I decided to document the things Oliver and I tend to do on any given day. Here is today in pictures:

Making homemade play doh...

Cheese picnic with the dogs.

Oliver is singing very robustly here...

Climb on furniture...

Climb on Mamma

Orchestrate dogs playing

"Rainbow Lunch"...We used every color of the rainbow...Oliver's favorites being blue, green, and yellow...at least those are the ones he knows and says

Independent reading

Mamma reading

He might be a lefty!!

He was really concentrating here, and melted in giggles when it fell off his head.

Dancing

Mystery boxes...

First stack them to make a tower...

Supplies to fix the house to sell it!

A dress-up box.

Confetti box!

I love hanging out with this little guy and seeing the world through his eyes. It promises to be Snow Day #3 tomorrow...maybe it'll be warm enough to actually play in the snow!

Reflections

2011-02-01T23:48:00.000-06:00

Snow days are slow, laid back days that give a little extra time for reflection. Today was one of those days and I’ve been thinking about the women in my family. I have one grandparent still living, and she is an amazing 94 year old woman who grew up through World War I in Germany, survived the horrors of WWII while still in Germany (especially as a woman in a war-torn city), watched her family forced to live in East Germany, moved to the United States with a baby her scientist-husband didn’t meet for 9 months, survived a difficult marriage in a foreign country with a difficult language and strange culture, and raised an amazing woman under extremely strenuous conditions. Meeting her, you’d never know what a difficult life she’s had. She is charming, funny, loves a glass of wine and apparently smoked eel… and spending hours creating hand-puppet-shadows with her grandchildren. She introduced me to tuna fish casserole, described my hair as “beautiful golden wheat,” and was convinced for an evening that one of my large freckles was a chocolate smear. She always finds the positive and humor in every situation. Once when I had to interview people about the experiences of war for an 8^th grade project, the first person I thought of was my Oma. She didn’t talk much of the horrors of war, although she did mention she awoke weekly from nightmares, but spoke of all the worthy inventions and technology that comes with war. She also had great stories of her friends back in Germany, and the shinanigans they would get into. She sang songs in German, and once without thinking sang right along with my youngest sister, Elisabeth, an old German lullaby where they both mis-sang “My father is a sheep”… a huge insult when translated in German, and they both crack up every time they sing that song now.

My other grandmother was just as impressive…the daughter of “the meanest woman” my aunt ever met, whose job on the farm as a 5 year old was to kill the chickens, was the top female of her high school class, one of the first women to earn a science degree at Rice University, worked as the top scientist (chemist I believe?) in a gun factory during WWII and struggled for the rest of her life knowing guns she made were responsible for killing innocent men. A late teen and 20-something during the Great Depression, she learned to scrimp and save and did so enough to put her children and grandchildren through college, struggled to have children and finally had 2 amazing kids in her 30’s (and people complimented her “grandchildren”), survived breast cancer twice, and taught Evolution as a high school Biology teacher when it was illegal to do so. I knew my Granny as an amazing cook, the woman who taught me the secret to “Granny dressing,” the woman who could sew her own clothes and always look fantastic, beautiful white hair that always was curled just so, an amazing self-taught oil painter of literally hundreds of paintings, grower of gorgeous, huge roses, and a woman who knew how to throw a party. She had the best southern sayings, and had a pearl of wisdom to match every soft wrinkle in her face. I remember asking her how she got to have so many wrinkles, and she looked at me, completely seriously and said, “Adriane, you wouldn’t believe it.” She stretched her arms out and made a giant circle with her hands about a foot away from either side of her head and said, “my head use to be THIS BIG.” Dead serious face. We cracked up for forever after that.

My aunt spent quite a bit of her childhood growing up in Louisiana on the oil refineries, she has more college degrees than I can count, spent many years digging in archeological sites, saving neighborhood cats, and saving old houses turning them back into something better than when they were first built. She survived a horribly abusive first marriage, and went on to marry a sweet and kind carpenter and have her first child in her ‘40’s, go through one of the most civil divorces I've ever seen where they BOTH truly kept their daughter's best interest at heart, raise a gorgeous, funny, responsible, smart woman, all while working for the government trying to protect and save various animal habitats. I know her as an amazingly gifted quilter, the woman who bangs both fists on the table in bouts of uncontrollable laughter, who can make any house feel like a home, makes the best brunch parties, has the greenest thumb I’ve ever seen and always a perfect garden, and has funny college stories like the one where a mysterious marijuana plant grew up in a crack in the cement in front of her apartment, and that was the only “weed” not destroyed for the entire year. In fact, it was always in perfect condition, like everyone was silently taking care of it…no one ever publicly acknowledged the plant…

My mother grew up between American and German cultures, and had a rough childhood where her best friend, sibling, and protector was her sweet dog. She has great stories of Catholic High School life complete with mean nuns, and went on to get a PhD in biology back when it was still taboo for a woman to be so interested in science. She wanted to be a vet (also socially unacceptable) and decided instead to raise 4 children, while country hoping from 1979-1995. She has been involved in many causes, most recently in convincing her religious community to be more accepting of the gay, lesbian, and transgendered community in her branch of Lutherans. Always the researcher, she has traced back our family tree as far as I think she can go, has visited many of the sites our ancestors once walked, and she knows more about world history, governments, people, and news than anyone I know. After a confusing and difficult childhood and challenging adulthood put on pause with the raising of 4 very successful children, she has worked hard to figure out who she is and what she wants. That sounds so cliché, but I am proud of all the successes she has made and the things she has overcome. I know her as an animal-lover…she has owned every animal as a pet at some point, we always rescued turtles off the roads, brought hurt birds to vets for wildlife, let strays into our house, fed wild Dutch mice who lived behind the TV, and allowed domesticated mice to roll around the house in clear, plastic balls. We held funerals for fallen birds and dead guppies (Mrs. Hunchback). She bakes the best cakes in the German style, nothing is off-limits to discuss, and as a mom took us out of school individually for a day every year to have “mom-time” on bikes in Brazos Bend State Park and in winter showed us how to maneuver properly in skis. I have so many memories I could insert here about my mother, but the one that stands out as describing her the way I know her best is…when we first moved to Holland and lived in a hotel for several months, I found I had run out of hairspray the night before the first day I was to start school. I was devastated since my self-esteem seemed to be contained in that aerosol bottle. My sweet mom walked to every single store with me on the Strand to find even ONE with hairspray. No one had any, so I went with limp hair. I knew I’d spend that afternoon searching the Hague for hairspray, but also knew my mother, the woman who was not into makeup, hair, jewelry, nail polish, or anything else “girly,” would NOT be ok scouring Holland, AGAIN for some dumb hairspray. But to my shock when I got home, a HUGE can of the stuff was sitting on my bed! I was always flabbergasted on how my mom “just knew,” even though I survived that day and no one said a thing about my hair. She will do just about anything for her children if it is important to them, and I’ve been reminded of this as she has maneuvered into the role of Omama to Oliver while I’m trying to figure out this mothering thing.

All these women have done such outstanding things with their lives and are leaving or have left these amazing legacies. They have gone through so much and became these incredible, successful, strong women, yet kept their soft, nurturing, loving nature. I marvel at them and wonder what thumbprint I will leave behind. Am I going through a midlife crisis in my 30’s?

My little man over Christmas. Here with Sinatra, or "NaYa" as he calls him.

Future Hoarder

2010-12-20T16:11:00.000-06:00

I'm addicted to hoarding shows on TV. Right now, there are 4 that I know of, "Hoarders," "Hoarding: Buried Alive," "Clean House," and the newest, "Stuffocation." Watching these shows always makes me feel a little better about the rooms in our house no one sees that are full of random stuff, that are necessary but have no "home." Sounds just like a hoarder, ha! The guest bedroom/office/music room/storage room bursting at the seams, and the area next to Nich's side of the bed that is full of boxes with random junk we haven't gotten around to sorting through since I was on bedrest and half of it is stuff that helped entertain me while stuck on the couch for 3 months. Now it's so much that we've decided this weekend we're going to go through it and hopefully TRASH a bunch of it! I LOVE trashing stuff, it's so cleansing! AND I love these shows, late at night, with a virgin Bloody Mary in hand because it gets me ready to clean again the next day, and maybe even reorganize something a little differently.

But Nich loves to tease me about the copies of bills, bank statements, and duplicate checks from a decade ago to now. I'm pretty sure I have just about EVERY SINGLE ONE. Thankfully they are all organized in binders and fit on one shelf and the old check books only take up one desk drawer. They are completely unnecessary, but I can't get rid of them because, well, you never know when you might need them! I know the IRS doesn't look past 7 years MAX, and just about all those bills are for things I don't own anymore and to addresses I haven't lived at in years. My excuse is I need a shredder, but I still haven't gotten around to getting one in 10 years :)

I'm pretty sure everyone is a secret hoarder of SOMETHING, but most of us don't use our entire house to store it all. I know my parents are definitely pack-rats, and most of their kids are too. But, I was watching "Stuffocation" the other night and saw the future me on there. A mom, dad, and 12 year old son lived in a chaotic mess, but only the boy's room was clean. Now, they had tons of issues that aren't the future me, but the ONE thing I saw that made me go, "Uh oh" was when it came to cleaning and organizing the son's room. The mom wouldn't let him throw away any stuffed animals even though he couldn't stand having the 80+ lining his room. Upon digging a little deeper into her reasoning she found that her attachment to the stuffed animals represented a time in her boy's life that she could never have back. The crab they bought at Disney Land, the teddy bear for his 1st birthday and on and on. There was a special story and huge sentimental significance attached to all of them. In that moment I realized, MY boy is growing up so fast, and while I have pictures, I know I want to keep everything that ever touches him and the toys he loves to play with. Uh oh. I had already planned on making a quilt out of the clothes I love on him best, and that will surely help with a lot of the extra stuff. But seriously, what do I do with stuffed animals and toys? He sleeps with a Snoopy every night, and what if he decides to get rid of it at some point? Eeek!

I went through a similar issue when Nich and I moved into our first house together. I had a closet FULL of gifts from kids from all the years I taught. With hundreds of kids going through my classroom every year, I had a LOT of stuff. The things I liked I had out and used, the other stuff went into the closet. I felt awful about throwing any of it away because I knew each kid, their family, their situations, and knew someone in that family had taken the time to find and purchase something for me, the art teacher. We had a garage sale the summer we moved in, and it was tough, but I let ALL of it go. It wasn't so hard after about the first 3 items, so maybe I'll have a similar experience. I don't know. I just know kids I saw once a week for 45 minutes versus the beautiful boy I raise every single day to adulthood are two very different things.

I think I will always keep the Snoopy though, and keep it with Nich's childhood Snoopy if his parents let us take it...and I'll get Oliver's future child a Snoopy, and so on. Then future Beer generations will have a house of Snoopy's no one can throw away, and it will be great! Seriously, how awesome would it be to have Snoopy's from that many generations? What a great idea! Uh oh.

Secret Santa!

2010-12-19T12:45:00.000-06:00

Elephant Ring Holder so I can't forget where my rings are placed! GREAT idea and it is so cute without being too cutesy, and is PERFECT! Thank you Aunt Liz :)

I am loving this year's Christmas! Although we don't get to be with family this year, we got to SKYPE our opening Secret Santa gifts today! That was absolute FUN and Oliver played with his new toy, (the GIANT bead and wire, or rollercoaster from Omama and Grandpapa), the entire time! I love this time of year, and I love it this year even more because, since we would not be in town for the family secret santa gift exchange, I shopped online to make sure the SS gift was shipped in time, and then just did ALL my Christmas shopping off of Amazon.com and Babyage.com. It's been a DREAM to NOT have to go into the busy malls and stores and running into crowds of busy shoppers! Whether I'm at home or not, brown packages keep arriving at my door, and these weeks leading up to Christmas have been like Christmas everyday!

Less than one week to go! Just need to find Christmas gifts for the dogs to open...they ALWAYS love ripping through paper to find tasty treats or squeeky toys. Or both! The new 7 1/2 foot tree Nich suprised me with is decorated, lit, and gorgeous, with special thanks to a certain 16 month old helper, and one section of Christmas decorations and lights are up about 7 feet on the armoir to keep away from curious fingers. So Christmassy!

Oliver hanging up his 1st Christmas ornament from last year...he was really enjoying playing with all the parts inside, so it had to go up nice and HIGH...

We've been whipping up hot chocolate with all the fixins, marshmallows and whip cream, eggnog with tasty nutmeg sprinkled on top, cookies every few days, and we've even been known to make bacon and biscuits a few times this week! With two Pandora Christmas stations we love (Bing Crosby Holiday, and Shake Hands With Santa Claus for a jazzy, swing sound) playing through the iPhones to our living room speakers, it's been so cheerful! And we even got SNOW a few days ago! I'm ready to start wrapping my happy brown boxes in bright, colorful paper with GIANT bows, and even more excited to watch my boys rip it all to pieces!! Now, off to get ready for church with "Silver Bells" playing on the speakers :)

Clarity

2010-12-18T07:48:00.000-06:00

I have become a much calmer person just knowing in a few weeks I'll get an almost 6 hour day to myself every week! The house has, by magic, become calm, clean, and comfy! With this new-found feeling, I've had a wave of clarity. I have realized I have become an "awful-izer:" where you remember the bad from the past and can only imagine the possible bad outcomes for the future.

Last night I was going through the bajillions of pictures of our little family and found they are filled with smiles and fun I have not given credit to the people who have had my back for years...my family and friends. I realized in my previous post, feeling overwhelmed a lot of time is a common phenomenon, and it's good to know this feeling is shared by pretty much everyone.

My parents, and siblings who could, have come to Lubbock for all kinds of holidays, and have flown us out to get to celebrate holidays with them. My sweet mom has driven the 10 hours or flown the distance on several occasions to stay with us for several days to help out. My in-laws have done the same...staying for several days and even opening their house to us for an entire month while Nich was in Ft. Worth. (I always feel weird letting family watch Oliver "for me" since I consider it my responsibility and can't let go...plus they might think I'm lazy or something equally unforgivable...yeah, an over-reaction, I know) My amazing husband has offered countless times to watch Oliver while I get to leave the house by myself (I always say no because I'd rather have family time while Nich's actually home!) I've had amazing friends offer to watch Oliver while I took care of something, and although I haven't really taken them up on it because I feel like then we have to keep score of who's watched whose kids, I am so grateful that they even continue to offer! But clearly, not accepting help + selfish with family time = luney bin in my case.

My very wise mom's been telling me for months to find a Parents' Day Out program or something, and while I toyed with the idea, it always felt like such defeat. We are blessed to have such a good, experienced, and loving family in our corner! And why don't people talk about the times they have their children in a program like that? Do they feel the same sense of defeat or guilt that they need a break? I have made a point of talking about it with moms, and those who already do it are like "It's the best thing I ever did and I was wondering how much longer you would last!" while a lot of others silently frown upon it and tell me their lives are just the way it is, no breaks, and they're happy for it. Being a silent martyr isn't going to do a family any good, case and point, MY family, ha ha ha! I firmly believe the $60 a month is well worth the sanity I'm already starting to feel, and January isn't even here yet!

My mother-in-law sent me this amazing email after reading my previous post, and she'd probably kill me for posting it, ha! But she DID say she tried to leave it as a comment, and I really REALLY like her words. She has awesome insight and a neat way of saying things, so I think this is one to share:

"I get this humorous image of Superman in my head--this man who was faster than a speeding bullet, able to leap tall buildings, more powerful than a locomotive. . . I'd like to see his true strength. Would he be able to go without sleep for nights(months) on end, be able comfort a baby in pain day after day, deal with the all too real concerns of this son's safety, be alone so very much of the time while his support was off fighting his own (necessary) battles of med school, have the strength of mind to be able to calmly watch a toddler's growth as the child throws tantrums. . . No, Superman had his burst of energic heroics (of which he received tremendous praise and adulation), then was able to go back into his alter ego to the relative calmness of a job, nights of rest, getting spiffed up to court Lois Lane. Who's the real super hero?

It is wonderful that you are finding ways to "fill your own well"; it is an absolute necessity. No one can continually give, especially without sleep. Med school and motherhood are demanding; that is a fact. And since many of us who would love to help are far away; you have to find other sources. That said. . .

A super-mom? In my book, you are one. But, even better, you are a cherished wife and a loving, beloved mother. You have brought incredible happiness and joy to my son; Nich adores you. The two of you have weathered much together. And Oliver--he's a totally delightful, curious, secure toddler despite the fact that he's had to suffer through colic and sleeping difficulties. That is quite the accomplishment--to help Oliver deal with his challenges in such a way that he can still greet each new day with big smile and excited anticipation.

There's this great quote by C.S. Lewis; I love the imagery. It deals with the reality of trials in our lives.

"No amount of falls will really undo us if we keep on picking ourselves up each time. We shall of course be very muddy and tattered children by the time we reach home. But the bathrooms are all ready, the towels put out, and the clean clothes are in the airing cupboard. The only fatal thing is to lose one’s temper and give it up. It is when we notice the dirt that God is most present to us: it is the very sign of his presence.”

- C.S. Lewis, in a letter to Mary Neylan, January 20, 1942"

Every overwhelmed parent should get an email like this from their parents...yes, I consider myself as having 4 parents, my parents and my in-laws...I AM that lucky! I had actually written part of this post before I received the email, and how reassuring it is that I got this in my inbox this morning!

And it only took 16 months!

2010-12-13T12:20:00.000-06:00

These are my two men. Aren't they fabulous?

Those two right there are the absolute loves of my life! Goofy, playful, funny, and fearless. I am so blessed to have these two all to myself!

I've had a lot on my mind for a while now, and have been really unable to verbalize much of it or even process it, so it finally all processed and verbalized itself in a two hour phone call to my sweet husband a few nights ago. I'm writing this all down so I can remember it all the next time I find myself in the dark gloom of an impending breakdown!

After all the difficulties and heartbreaks of trying to have a baby for two and a half years, we finally had baby Oliver 16 months ago. Thrilled beyond thrilled, I decided I was going to be one of those moms who was always even-tempered, calm, reasonable, took each moment as a teaching moment, kept in shape, didn't turn frumpy-never-get-out-of-pj's mom, want to spend every possible moment with my child, and who always had it together, always. I figured that since I was in my 30's when we had him, I would already have a shoe-in, and since we had tried so HARD for so LONG that it would be very natural for this to all fall into place. And it DID for a while. I glued Oliver to my side because, one, I was always terrified he was going to die of SIDS or stop breathing, and two, because I was amazed that I actually had a baby of my own after deciding it probably wasn't going to happen for us.

Oliver had colic which made the first 4 months of his little life really difficult for him and for me. He cried for hours every day and I couldn't figure out what I was doing wrong. Thankfully a strong prescription helped turn the 8 hours of crying down to about 5 hours a day, and we all rested a little better. But the 16 hours a day I would hold my baby got really draining, and the sleep deprivation made me a little crazy. Ok, a lot crazy. Oliver couldn't sleep unless I was holding him, and forget tummy-time. It was like he was in pain if I put him on his belly. It got to the point of I didn't want anyone else but Nich to take him, and I wouldn't go to playgroups because I hadn't showered or mostly because I was sure Oliver would catch something (like a cold and stop breathing in his sleep). I really forced myself to ask friends if they wanted to hold him because I knew they wanted to, and I think I was very convincing in sounding excited for them to hold him even though I was always ready to snatch him back up just in case. (In case of what, I don't know!) But I plowed through it mostly because I had to, and I felt so guilty that I wasn't a good mom because I clearly did not have it together, and I felt beyond guilty that I was starting to blame my miracle-baby for my not able to sleep, eat, or shower. I would love it when Nich would get home so he could hold the baby while I cleaned the house. My break that I ALWAYS looked forward to was CLEANING! Yeah, crazy.

Then around 5 months, Oliver was upright most of the time and the colic magically disappeared. I was able to relax some, shower most days, and clean the house with Nich gone. Oliver and I took to going out daily, him in a Baby Bjorn a church-friend had lent me, and we were two peas in a pod. But Oliver still couldn't nap by himself, was still waking up a 2-3 times a night, and the horrendous surgical rotations were in place for Nich. So, although life was a whole lot easier, it got a whole lot harder too with Nich on the night shifts, the 30-hour on call shifts, and no one else to share the stress and time a baby takes. With no family within 6 hours of us, I felt weird asking friends to take him for me so I could shower or sit and veg for an hour. Plus, I was going to be super-mom and no one could know how desperate I really felt. Women do this all the time, so why was the little muscle under my left eye starting to twitch regularly?? I DO have an awesome neighbor who, we watched each other's kids every other day for 2 hours so we could work out, but although I REALLY looked forward to my two hours, I felt so overwhelmed thinking about watching her two on her days to work out. And her kids are very sweet, well-behaved, older kids who actually would entertain Oliver when I wasn't trying to get him to nap by himself in someone else's house. I had to stop that since it was just too much.

Then Oliver turned one. I didn't have to worry about SIDS anymore, and it was a huge relief! And 4th year medical school started. Oliver can walk, run, point for things, play by himself, nap by himself, and sleep through the night. YES! But Nich is gone all the time. Two month-long rotations in other cities, days and weeks away for 20+ interviews all over the country, and working through holidays to make up for all the time gone on interviews. Again, things were easier, and yet single-motherhood is more and more what I felt like I was doing. Again, this is my miracle child and he's sweet, funny, starting to talk and parrot what I say, dance around the house, and eat meals with me, but he also has figured out how to throw a mean tantrum and he has found just about all my "buttons." Most of the time, I can leave the room and ignore a tantrum...although the really dramatic ones are funny to watch, like when he's outside and has learned that throwing himself onto the concrete really hurts, so he goes down REALLY SLOWLY then screams and flails...but then there are times when it infuriates me and I leave the room so I don't yell at a one-year-old who is barely figuring out how to have a clue.

It got to be a good ten full-on tantrums a day which got really tiring after about two weeks, and with Nich gone, me on my own, playgroups during his nap time, and no relief day or night, I was losing it. Now, I know tantrums are a way for toddlers to express frustration before they have a vocabulary to tell you what's wrong, and they are just discovering "power," like how far they need to push to see if they'll get their own way again, or just to see what your reaction will be this time. When not throwing a tantrum, Oliver is a sweetheart. Having a wonderful child is already exhausting, and all in all, Oliver really is a SWEET sweet little boy, and I really don't have anything to complain about in that department. But then Oliver got really sick and I was holding him a good 10 hours a day, he had to sleep on me, and while I loved the cuddly-ness, I was back to worrying if he'd make it through a 104.7 degree fever without a seizure, or if he'd make it through the night alive, thankful he was waking up 3-4 times a night but also hating it, and I couldn't eat and sleep let alone shower. Then, when he was almost recovered, just Oliver and I flew to Houston for a week, and while we had a lot of fun, I finally became ill and was so stressed out making my parents watch him, and so stressed out and embarrassed by the tantrums and his sudden selfishness toward his baby cousin - I have never before nor after witnessed Oliver get so jealous, and taking things away from a baby. Finally we got back to Lubbock, and Nich left for a week in Louisiana which he decided was actually a waste of his time. That whole week is a blur and I know Oliver was feeding off of my negativity. The tantrums were beyond unreasonable, and I lost it. I mean, kicking, screaming, crying til my voice was gone, lost it. Thankfully I put Oliver in his safe, toy-filled crib while I had a melt down in the shower.

That night I talked to Nich, and realized, AHA! This is why I over-react to everything, why I wear a permanent scowl, why I am always overwhelmed, why all I can think about is, "why do I have to do EVERYTHING yet can't do ANYTHING??? Like get a haircut, or go to a Dr appointment! Why all I talk about is how I need a break. Because, after 16 months, lo and behold, I DO need a break! I realized I haven't had any time to myself where I didn't have something I had to do since before I was on bedrest. That's close to 2 years.

My name is Adriane Beer, and I am not a supermom. I have come to the realization that no one is, and that I need help. No amount of just praying for strength will help - I have to actually act and accept help, or in this case, look for it. I am signing my boy up in a Mother's Day Out program in the new year, and am not feeling guilty about it, and am totally looking forward to getting my hair done!

Maybe not by these two characters though...

Omama and Grandpapa's House

2010-12-08T10:56:00.000-06:00

A few weeks ago, Oliver and I flew down to Houston for little Eliska's baptism! It was a wonderful trip and awesome to see my whole family in one place for the first time in 2 1/2 years! Marian was in town from Australia for 3 weeks, and I have a few pictures to post from that :))) I didn't get as many as I wanted because I think we were too busy catching up and the camera wasn't on my mind :( Thankfully Elisabeth got a few good ones!

My sweet little neice, or god-daughter now :) was baptized the first Advent! That's easy to remember and now she will always get to light TWO candles that night, ha! She loved staring into the water in the shiny gold bowl, and was so curious when they started pouring the water on her head! The candle got the cake though...that little flame was just mesmerizing to 5 month old eyes! Here we are at the beautiful Lutheran church in Houston, proud parents and god-parents!

Aren't they a beautiful family?

Unfortunately, Nich had to work, and we've been traveling a lot these days, separately though :( He's off interviewing several days a week at this point, and Oliver and I are mostly hanging out, doing our usual stuff! In Houston, Oliver got to hang out with his grandparents, and had a blast! Here are some really cute moments with Omama:

Stealing a quick hug before bed!

I love this picture since it reminds me of two others, in separate generations, I hold very close to my heart...

Oliver played a bunch with his Grandpapa, but I didn't have my camera! Lots of hugs and sharing sound-effects with a GIANT wire and bead toy! I MUST remember to take pictures more!

Moooooo

2010-11-07T10:20:00.000-06:00

Gary Larson is hilarious! Of course, I don't need to tell YOU that, ha ha ha! I love his take on life and what animals are REALLY thinking...

I always like his commentary on cows and chickens best, similarly the Chik-Fil-A cows who want us to eat more chicken. Ok, I'm rambling, but I've been thinking about all this meat we eat and have found I've been eating less and less of it.

It started with the EGG.
About 3 years ago, I decided to buy free-range eggs rather than the cheap regular ones. Why? I felt sorry for the chickens who live in tiny cages and often have their beaks cut off because cooped-up chickens with nothing to do but eat and lay eggs tend to get mean, bored, and aggressive with each other and will peck each other, to death in some cases. Free-range chickens tend to fair a little better, and I have to assume they're healthier anyway because it takes a bit of effort to crack open one of those beautiful brown eggs. Plus, brown eggs are prettier than white eggs...why? I don't know, but the white ones ARE easier to dye come Easter time.

Again, off track I go.

So, I eat eggs a little more guilt-free, and I know I'm not helping in the torture of the very creatures who happen make the delicious ingredient that I use in so many meals and desserts. Since they're living their lives to provide me with eggs, shouldn't they have a happy life in return? I think so.

Ever since I got pregnant, I've also become hyper-sensitive to what I'm consuming. Not an actual physical reaction, but for sure a psychological one. I couldn't take an aspirin that might affect the baby, but I could eat beef, chicken, and milk pumped with growth hormones, lactation hormones, and all kinds of other things that I'm sure would have no effect, right? Hmmm.
Fast forward a few years and now Oliver eats everything we eat. And I've become more and more aware, and while I'm less concerned about what I put in MY body at this point, I'm very concerned about Oliver. And our dogs. Weird, I know, but they are also like our kids to me. I've had several conversations about this topic with my mother-in-law (who it also started with my egg, lol!) and she has switched her dog over to something similar to the "raw diet" and she herself has stopped eating meat in favor of healthier and less-cruel-to-the-animal alternatives. While I'm not going to stop eating meat, we HAVE switched our dogs to a healthier kibble that has meat as the first ingredient. A far cry from my aunt who MAKES her own dog food, amazing by the way! Who knew Science Diet was so bad for my dogs anyway? "They" (the people at the pet store) said that company was bought out and the formula was changed, so it is no longer the food of choice for your animals. Good to know.

Again, I'm off topic.

So, with all of this swimming in my head, I've been looking for non-hormone injected beef. It's super expensive so I never buy it. Plus, besides just for health reasons, I don't like the way beef cows and well, all animals-for-consumption, are treated. Cows packed in a feed-lots with no room to really move, given growth hormones to grow bigger, faster, fattened up on a mix of corn and cow parts (yes, they feed cows other cows...that's how we had the huge problem of Mad-Cow-Disease spread all over the place...the cow has to eat part of an infected cow, how sick is that?), then made to eat far too much and injected with yet more stuff to survive their several day trip (in starvation mode) to the slaughterhouse.

I had a neighbor tell me that a rancher he knew personally, actually tried to feed his cows outside of the feed lots one day, and do the "free-range" thing where there was grass...and shockingly the cows went straight to the lots to find food rather than to the grass. It was clear to the farmer that the cows "liked" the lots over the grass. Pavlov much? Cows, like all animals, are creatures of habit - if they know food is in one place, it's always been there since they were born, it was there for the past 50 generations of cows, as horrible a place as it is, they're not going to go searching elsewhere when the feed-lot is a sure thing.

I have issues with the way these animals are treated as well. Aren't they doing us a favor in being so tasty and yet so tame? Yes. Should we at least let them live out the few months they DO have in a nice place? I think YES! Is it totally obvious that I live in a 1st world country where I have the privilege of worrying about the kind of life my food has? Um, yes. But that said, my feelings are the same. (I stopped eating "baby animals" about ten years ago. No lamb or veal for me. Just look into how those babies are treated. I used to enjoy the taste of these meats, but now it makes me sick to even see them served anywhere)

A new grocery store opened up in Lubbock that is kind of a specialty store. Neat fruits and vegetables, weird but tasty looking ethnic stuff, fresh seafood, and FREE-RANGE, GRASS-FED, HORMONE-FREE BEEF! And it's affordable! HELLO! We got chicken sausage, $8 porterhouses that are about 2 inches thick, I kid you not, steaks and all kinds of delicious meat. Hallelujah! I think we just might go out of our way once a week to get our meat there. I sure feel a lot better about what I'm feeding my family, and better about the animals Oliver like to call "Mooooooo!"

Now, don't even get me started on what they do to those poor vegetables! Ok, just kidding, but we DID buy a bunch of organically grown fruits and veggies, and had a very delicious potato soup last night night made with our bounty :) Oliver picked out a "red pummelo"...a huge, lime-green ball the size of a GIANT grapefruit. Not sure what it is besides something in the citrus family, but we'll be breaking into that tonight!

October 18, 2010: First Haircut!

2010-10-23T21:48:00.000-05:00

A few days ago, Nich and I both sadly agreed that Oliver was in need of a haircut! No amount of conditioner and brushing could keep his pretty blond locks from getting scraggly and haywire anymore! Wet, the back of his head was all curls, but once it dried it would be a mix of straight and wavy, and just out of control...a little mullet-looking as well. It is the last "baby" part of him, so he is officially a boy. Not a baby, but a toddler. Why is this act the cross-over? He doesn't speak yet and he's still in diapers, but he runs, dances, yells, and cracks jokes! And now has short hair. It's cute, even if I say so myself, and I'm glad I can style it again instead of it being all over the place...as much as one can "style" a 14 month old's hair. And, he was AWESOME through it and liked seeing the collection of 2-3 inch hair in the little zip-lock bag!

Yes, I'm keeping his hair...I still have 3 or 4 of my braids that were cut off from various childhood haircuts, and you can see how my hair slowly got darker and darker. It's cool!

I also have tiny 1/4 inch hair from Julian's head. His was so dark in comparison! But Oliver was born with brown hair that was all replaced with a strawberry golden color. When he's all grown up, I'm not sure he'll appreciate his baby hair as much as I like my braids, but that's ok...I will :)

Papabear's Garden

2010-10-12T21:39:00.000-05:00

Both of Oliver's grandparents have amazing green-thumbs. Anything they decide to grow, they can. And it always looks so amazing. Beautiful. Everything looks so accidental, like it's been happily growing there forever.
I want a garden like that.

I think in our next house, instead of a painting party where we repaint the whole house, we'll have a garden party. Maybe even the type where everyone wears an amazing, fancy, brimmed hat, and cute little cucumber sandwiches are served with tiny rose-shaped teacups. Then we'll all have to transform the yards into an oasis of luscious greenery woven with splashes of color.

But I have to have a Magnolia tree in the front...giant, with giant, delicious, white flowers. And a stone bench. Heavy. Stone. Inviting.

Nativity Logo

2010-10-04T23:03:00.000-05:00

I was asked to create a black and white Nativity logo with the theme "O Holy Night," and I came up with a few different ones. I'm having trouble deciding what I like so I'm putting them out there for some hopefully constructive criticism. It's supposed to be simple, and the black and white can be reversed (black background, white lines, like having the figures in a solid black manger shape, or star, or something), and a star can be added to any of them. This is the order I drew them in, and if nothing else, I find it interesting how my style changes from traditional, to minimalist, then back to traditional with a minimalist flair. Fun, huh? Ha ha ha! I'm going to submit my final pictures later on this week. (It's for church and they've got a few other people designing logos too, so chances are they'll pick someone with far superior skills and creativity, but here's what the Nativity in my brain looks like)

Traditional Nativity:

Line Drawing, Nativity

Line Drawing 2, Nativity

Heart-Shaped Nativity

Heart Shaped Nativity 2

Layered Nativity
(I'm not a huge fan of this one since I feel like I've seen it everywhere even though I like the way it looks, it seems so common)

Thoughts?

Gammy and Papabear's House

2010-10-03T21:27:00.000-05:00

I need to make sure I always have my camera to capture these beautiful moments!

Best Buds, Oliver & Mason

2010-10-03T21:20:00.000-05:00

Day at the Fair

2010-09-29T15:50:00.000-05:00

For two weeks, we talked to Oliver about the fair and all the fun things to eat and see, and we kept trying to coordinate with neighbors when to go, and finally got a chance to go TODAY! After a good nap, Oliver, Nich, and I rushed to get there before we had to pay to get in. DARN! didn't make it, so $16 plus $5 parking and we were ready - stroller, camera, bottles of water, sunscreen, and cash in hand. BUT...the food was barely ok, the vendors were warning us not to drink the water because of a "funny taste," the rides were way too expensive and several of them broken, the air was a mixture of trash and something sticky, it was 10,000 degrees outside, and the animals were gone, being switched out from week one to week two. After a good 40 minutes of trying to find something fun, we decided to leave, heads hung in defeat...until we saw the kids' barn! Walking in, we found all kinds of beautiful tomatoes, peppers, watermelons, and pumpkins kids had grown. Immediately the fair-food in my stomach harden into a greasy, fry-batter rock. Ha! Going in further, we smelled the distinct smell of "money" (as they call eau-de-manure in cow-towns) Cows! Pigs! Chickens! Sheep! Goats! Perfect!

Oliver had a blast and we spent a good hour hanging out with the animals that say MOO, BA-A-A-A-A, Bock Bock, and MA-A-A-A!

Oliver's first encounters with non-dog/cat animals

Excited, Oliver spent a lot of time pointing at the animals and saying a combination of "Gee" and the sound the silent animal was supposed to make. I think he was WAY excited to see that the things he'd seen in books were REAL!

Getting more comfortable...

The youngest goat let Oliver use his back-end like a drum

Oliver and the Goat video...

So worth it!

Residency Where?

2010-09-29T12:23:00.000-05:00

Well that's no good. Blogger isn't letting me upload any pictures! And this is my chance while Oliver's asleep and I don't have 1000 other things I need to be doing! Grrr.

But on another note, I'm happy to announce that Nich is getting emails back about all kinds of residency interviews...and one from a hospital that only has 80 interview spots for the 400+ applicants! I am so proud of him!! Not that we necessarily want to move to that state, but cool none the less! November is set aside for him to be all over the country and state interviewing, so should be fun! I've been a single mom for September while he did an away rotation in Temple. I am so glad he loved it so much, but that was tough! A big shout-out to my awesome mother for coming in to help me with Oliver for over a week! Yay for Omama!! I am also excited Marian is coming in from Australia to hang out with us for a WHOLE WEEK! I can't wait!! Haven't seen that girl for over 2 years, and Oliver's never met his cool Auntie Marian, or shall we call her Auntie-M?

About Residency Interviewing: One thing we were prepared for...all the money it's going to cost to have Nich either fly or drive out everywhere and stay in hotels...What I wasn't was the $1,000 it cost to even apply to 39 programs! $400 for Texas and $600 for others. And that's not even near all of them, that's just Texas and surrounding states. Holy cow!!! Time to ask for another loan, like, NOW! Sheesh!! For an ER program, the "magic numbers" are, 30-40 places applied, 10-12 interviews, 99.9% chance of placing. Nich's Step 2 scores came in today, and it's a GOOD day! He was so nervous about checking...you know that stomach-drop, bowels-emptying feeling? Yeah, that was him 20 minutes before the scores were posted! I am happy to say that he should have his pick of residencies, at least that's what I think, ha! Come on interviews...keep a-coming!!

Ok, the baby's up and it's time to go the fair! Bringing the camera along, and here's hoping next time I sign in, Blogger's photo center will be working!

A new life after the loss of one

2010-06-11T20:45:00.000-05:00

Things have been really busy and blogging has been on my mind a lot lately. I have so many pictures of Oliver to post, but my internet has been acting up sporatically, and it's kind of a hit or miss if I get anything up. Actually, I'm pretty sure it's the computer to blame since IT'S been acting up in other areas too...this is after we got the whole thing re-formatted and started from scratch again less than a year ago. I think we're getting a new computer here in the next few days since this one is now ancient at nearly 5 years old - and it acts it! Ugh.
In any case, other things have been on my mind, and after lengthy conversations with a few people, I thought it might be useful to some people who I know now have my blog information, to discuss some of the things our family went through after losing our first-born, Julian.

We have remained fairly tight-lipped about a lot of things with most people, and really only discussing things with other people who have also experienced a loss late into their pregnancies. I find so many similarities in our stories that I thought it might be helpful to have them written down somewhere - even though I've read several books about it, somehow what I read didn't totally apply to me.
The hardest part about losing Julian at 29 weeks was that there was really no one to blame. I didn't do anything wrong, and although I felt like I wasn't listened to by my doctors at the time (what do you know, this is the first time you've gotten this far into a pregnancy, blah blah blah) the doctors had been checking up on me, and I'd gone to every single appointment and voiced my concerns repeatedly. The "cord accident" could not have been prevented, and honestly no one knows what really happened and why. Along with the overwhelming sadness and feelings of loss that is absolutely suffocating, there is HUGE anger. So, if there's no one to blame, there is raging anger but no one did anything wrong, who are you mad at? Where is the outlet for that anger, and who is it directed at? A lot of couples turn on each other. Thankfully we didn't do that, but that rage went toward the one who has control over life itself, God. Still working on that one 2 1/2 years later...I'm still waiting for an apology but for now will accept the absolute hope that there is and was a really damn good reason for our son to be taken from us! (I refuse to accept other people's notions of it "just happens" and God is there to comfort...no, according to my beliefs, God has control over these things, so if He's not an evil puppeteer and He really IS wanting us to be happy, there's got to be a reason.) The one thing that has helped us get through is our belief that we will see Julian again, and according to our faith, get the chance to raise him. As of now, my husband is at peace with it, but I feel like I have an understanding with God at this point - I pray again but the topic of Julian in my prayers is off-limits. I still don't have that blind trust in Him like I once did, but I do hope that comes back. We'll see.

Now that we have had time to sort our feelings, let them calm down, had a successful pregnancy with our perfect perfect little man, Oliver, and have had a chance to reflect on our experiences, there are a few things that, had a good friend who experienced a stillborn also not warned us about, we would have been shocked and felt like the worst, horrible people.

When we found out Julian had passed, all I wanted was to "get him out." Mostly because it was so hard knowing the baby I had been worried about for months (I knew something was really wrong for a good 6 weeks before-hand), prayed for countless times a day - PRAYED that he wouldn't be taken from me even though I had that little feeling we wouldn't get to keep him the moment we got the + sign on our pregnancy test - and that the baby I was carrying was no longer going to be. I wanted it to be over, and all I wanted to do was hold my precious boy who I'd seen on so many ultrasounds and 3-D sonograms. I was induced a few hours later, and after 23 hours, our first-born was with us. I was terrified to look at him because I had been warned that he might be discolored, bruised, blue, and look "dead." I asked everyone around me in the delivery room, my husband, sister, mom and the doctor, if he looked "scary." Everyone said no, so I looked down, saw my baby, and he was beautiful. He was a miniature version of Nich, he was pink, he looked alive and sleeping, he looked perfect. He WAS perfect. I won't go into the special moments Nich and I had while holding him for several hours before we said goodbye, but I will say, that as much as it hurts to acknowledge it, I now know that there are small miracles that take place, even in the worst of scenarios. Everyone who touched Julian felt his spirit there still, and even the doctor was overwhelmed by how very sacred it felt. Our miracle was that we were able to be with our son, and both Nich and I felt at the same moment (kind of strange thinking back now, but not strange at the time) that he was saying goodbye after our hours of pure joy spent with him. I can't say that we were sad while holding him, we both felt like we knew him, and he was ours.

The decision to try again was immediate. We both wanted desperately to have another child, not to replace Julian, but because the desire to have our baby was so strong. We decided to wait a year to make sure we had time to go through the majority of the heavy greiving before starting another difficult pregnancy, and to make sure we REALLY were not out to replace Julian. We decided that when we knew we wouldn't be disappointed if the next baby was a girl, we were ready.
Well, Oliver was ready to come before we were! We got pregnant with him 3 months ahead of schedule, and were, of course, terrified through the pregnancy. Especially around week 29. I remember breaking down in our new doctor's office (who I am in LOVE with by the way) at 29 weeks 3 days, and he offered to put me in the hospital for no reason if that would make me feel better. It did, but I didn't go in...it was nice knowing I had the option to though!
I spent the majority of the second half of his pregnancy on bedrest, and having stress-tests done 3-7 times a week. It wasn't easy, and I worried over him the whole time. Luckily, the nurses didn't call me crazy when I'd go in at midnight for them to check for a heartbeat...they all got to know us pretty well actually, and we're still friends with some of them to this day!
When the time came to have Oliver, it was a scheduled C-section. Our doc wasn't going to let anything go unplanned, and the baby was going to get here safe and sound. We were absolutely estatic, and after worrying about my little guy, imagining holding him, unable to wait to see him, to feel him breathe, and hear him cry, they took him out - smooth, easy, and he was healthy and crying and breathing and pink and perfect!
Nich held him, took him to see me (in tears of course) and I kissed him all over his head before they whisked him away for testing. Now, the part I had been warned about came in handy now. We LOVED this baby and were beyond happy to have him. But we didn't know him. We weren't connected to him. In case this pregnancy didn't work out too, we had kept a pretty unhealthy distance from the idea of him coming home with us. With Julian, we left the hospital with empty arms and came home to an empty crib. I think our psyches were trying to protect us from the chance of a similar outcome, but we all know that had we lost Oliver too, we'd be even worse off than we were the first time.
But here we were, unbonded to the baby we had spent years trying to have, years praying for, months worrying about and months physically incompacitated over. All I thought about was SIDS. Now that he was here, all I could think about was how he was going to be taken from me. I barely slept, and for weeks slept with my hand by his body to make sure it was still warm, and every 30 minutes would wake up to make sure he was breathing. (I still wake up twice a night to check the monitor and see if he is breathing, but I hear only twice a night is now considered normal.) I was conviced that I was going to be able to stop anything from happening to him because he was out, under my supervision, and in my control. I loved him so much, and although I knew he was mine, he didn't feel like mine. Especially when breast-feeding didn't work for us. We spent WEEKS trying and failing. Many decisions to quit and millions of tears later, I did quit, and really felt like now I REALLY wasn't a mom, I was the babysitter. I was completely stressed out over whether he would live another hour, if I could feed him right, and why I couldn't bond with him.
I am so so so thankful a friend warned me about this when I was 12 weeks pregnant with him.
She asked me how it was going 2 months in. All I could say was "hard" and break down into tears. She was in a rush to teach a Sunday school class, but hugged me and Oliver and said it would get better, she promised.

I finally felt like he was MINE at about 5 months old, and can say I finally bonded with him around 7 months old. Oliver is now 9 1/2 months old, and I can finally, in complete truth, say that I really can't imagine a day without him. He's my little buddy, and his Aunt Liz got him the perfect shirt that says so, complete with his favorite animal on it (elephant). My husband is the same way, and "they" always say it takes the dads longer to bond because they don't carry the child, but I think in this case we both took the better part of a year to "know" our baby and feel like he is really and truly ours.
She and I spoke again just recently, tears in our eyes, but this time happy tears. Things really do get better and easier. And the funny thing is, Oliver won't remember any of the craziness, and I can barely remember it at this point. She and I also had a few laughs (some angry laughs) about the things people say to you in an attempt to be "helpful" while you're going through all of this. Our conclusion was that people really don't know what to say if they haven't gone through it, and all logic can be thrown out the window when you're an emotional disaster. People want to be helpful and most really truly don't mean any harm, but unfortunately it is those who said the wrong thing, the stupid thing, or the hurtful thing that we remember most. Be mad at them, be angry, but know in their own way, they think they are doing good. I found that it helped for me to not be shy about telling them they were really not helping and were making me more angry...

I know one story of a woman who owns a jewelry store who lost her baby at 24 weeks and a few weeks afterward, went back to work. She was crying and a customer started up a conversation with her and she told the woman what had happened. The woman, probably in shock, said "Well, know that it was for the best." Enraged, the store owner said "Who in the hell are you to say what is for the best?!?" and asked her to leave the store. Several days later, the customer came back in, apologized and thanked her for the lesson she had taught her about empathy.

My best advice? We cut everyone out of our lives for a good 7 months, save family, and for us, that is what we needed. Others cling to friends. Do what you feel is best, not what other people want you to do. People want to bring you meals and you don't want them? Say no. I assigned family members to answer emails and phone calls for several weeks because I didn't want to hear the "sorries" and the tears, and feel like I was the one who had to comfort them. But we did appreciate flowers people sent - that helped us know people were thinking about us, but I didn't have to face them. Keeping everything that ever touched Julian, and special things we bought for him is helpful. We have his hospital wristbands, cord clamp, measuring tape, blanket with some blood still on it, going-home outfit, and got a lock of hair, his footprints, and a pendant with his handprint, and a pendant with his footprint. The jewelry I wear nearly every day, and very occasionally I will look at his things. Keeping letters I and others wrote to/about him are there, and all in a beautiful, velvet-lined box with pictures of him. It is so painful to look at these items still, but I am so glad I have them with me, and I have the option to sit with things that touched him whenever I want. I made him a baby book with all my thoughts to him and the pictures and sonograms I have of him, but although I haven't been able to order it, I have the option to one day. I also found that finding other families who have gone through this was really helpful, and it is unfortunately a LOT of people. I didn't seek that out, it just mostly happened on its own. But talking to people who have been there, and have since had successful pregnancies makes it more hopeful that it can happen to you too.
We are now looking into having another baby while we are still living in this city, and having the doctor I am in love with. This friend of mine has many children, and has said that each one gets easier and easier. I'll let you know :)

A few videos, finally!! (These are for you Mmm Good, in AUSTRALIA!)

2010-03-03T20:00:00.000-06:00

I thought pictures took a while to upload. Videos? They take forever!

But, as promised, here are a few videos :) These are ones taken on my regular camera and not the ones from our video camera. My computer is so junky now that I can't get the ones off the video camera, so I'll have to get the Christmas videos up when I have access to a GOOD computer!

Also, be warned...these are probably only interesting to immediate family... Like all family videos, especially those of very small children, only the family members themselves ever enjoy them, and even then it's a toss-up, ha ha ha!! We love these, but I hate the sound of my voice and how stupid I sound when I talk to Oliver...so try to ignore that part, ha! Oliver LOVES watching these and giggles at the adorable little boy on the computer :)

CRAWLING: Oliver is getting so good at crawling now, and he has even figured out that there's a reason to crawl! He now crawls like he's on a mission. He's not the most coordinated thing, and likes to lunge when he thinks he's close to his target, but he's still so far away and face-plants most of the time! It's awesome. Lately, his biggest motivator is my breakfast cereal...good ol' Lucky Charms. Here he is at his fastest!

LAUGHING: Oliver is not a huge laugher or giggler. He's more the quiet, flirty-smile type :) But when he's tired, he can LAUGH!!! Here's Nich cracking Oliver up with "Daddy Kisses" I LOVE this one!!

EATING: Oliver's been eating baby food for about a month or so now, and he can't get enough!! Our pediatrician says at 6 months, babies should be eating it once or twice a day - at MOST three times. Oliver demands it three times a day! At 8 AM, noon, and 5 PM, he'll cry but refuse a bottle until he gets his tasty REAL food - definitely got that from MY side, ha ha ha! He is so used to the routine that he now wipes his own mouth for me between bites...I'm hoping that part of him sticks and he'll be that magical little boy that keeps his room clean, bed made, and pee off the toilet seat and surrounding areas...

SWINGING: We went to the park for the first time today and I put Oliver in the baby swing. He wasn't sure if he liked it, but I'm pretty sure he didn't DISlike it. There were SO many people there that day...the first nice day since all the snow, wet, and cold. And, I'd bet about 75% of the women there were 5+ months pregnant. I guess that's how they're staying warm this winter? Anyhoo, here's my little man swinging with a beautiful lake behind him - (on a side note, as I wait and wait and wait for this video to upload...) we spent a while watching the ducks wiggle their tails and quack at us as they kept trying to keep the distance between us and them unchanged. They were cautiously eyeballing us for stale bread I'll bet, so they never did jump into the water. Oliver also watched the sun sparkle on the waves made by the little fountain in the middle of the lake, maybe even putting it together that THAT'S what they're showing on Baby Einstein's Mozart video. Maybe.

This last week in pictures

2010-03-03T19:38:00.000-06:00

Our awesome amateur photographer neighbor, Aimee, took this picture. It's so cute! Look at those loooong eyelashes!! He definitely got those from his Daddy...

This was Oliver's first park experience! He was so distracted by all the other kids running around that he barely looked at the camera. I think this is his "wow, totally overwhelmed in a GOOD way" face. :)

Baby's got some big boots to fill! These boots were his Uncle Clinton's, now his Daddy's, and maybe one day his? He was so so excited, and he had to stand on his tip toes to wear these big ol' boots! Now I just need a picture of him outside, cows in the distance, wearing these boots, a cowboy hat, and a bandana!

I LOVE this face!!

First time swinging, oh yeah! Like most of his firsts, he's not sure what to make of it, and it takes a few times to decide it's a fun thing! He's such a cautious baby...

Oh, I'm so in love with my baby!!! Just the cutest little 6 month old out there, I think, ha ha ha!! I'm now going to attempt another post with some videos :)

Kind of an update...need more time!!

2010-02-01T10:33:00.000-06:00

Ok, it has been FOREVER since I posted last, but it's harder and harder to find time! I know I need to catch up on Christmas stuff, Oliver meeting his great grandmother (Oma) and all kinds of other things, and as soon as I figure out how to upload video, I'll do that. Probably in the evening sometime when Nich's home, not studying, and can watch Oliver. Right now I am so thankful Oliver is napping in his crib, and am hoping he can stay asleep a little longer than his 10 minutes of late :( He'd been sleeping between 1 1/2 and 2 hours at a time, but with this cold and terrible constipation, he's a really light sleeper. Probably on account of him not being able to breathe very well. We use the aspirator about 3 times an hour (he hates it and we've even killed the electronic one we got), he's on Clariten now to help dry him out, and even the dogs try helping him out by licking stuff out...gross and we stop them all the time...but the momma-dog in Daisy can't help herself!!

Here's the 4 generations picture we have of Oliver, me, Omama and Oma. Oma was so so excited to meet him, and the first thing she said, in thick German accent, when she held him was, "Oh this is so right!" Oliver was happy to be loved on for a little while, and then after a bottle, even happier for his Oma to give him lots and lots of love! Oh, there's so much to write about over Christmas, and video to go with it, but I'll get to that later. Here's the photo:

In silly dog news, Chester licked and licked (kind of manically) Oliver's head for about 3 minutes. I'm assuming he really wanted all of Oliver's hair to be pointed toward his face because when he was done, ALL of Oliver's hair was cemented in one direction...all going in his face. Only then was Chester satisfied and left him alone for me to capture this great hairdo on film :)

Oh, and I love love love Oliver's pediatrician! On our last visit (from Oliver's cold not improving and actually getting so bad he was up several times a night caughing and I was afraid he could stop breathing at night - he would stop while I was listening to him until he'd wake up and open his mouth, then he was up!) I told Dr. S that Oliver was rocking back and forth, and had figured out how to crawl backwards, but not forward yet! His response? "Oh, I call that the Aggie-crawl!" Ha ha ha ha! That's great :)

You know, the longer Oliver sleeps, the better chance I will have of trying to get some video on here, but a warning, only check it out if you're really bored and have a lot of time! Like most video of people's babies, it's pretty boring unless you're the parents...in which case you can't watch enough of it! I was playing the video of Oliver for Oliver, and the whole time, he was glued to the moniter and was screaming and laughing at the cute little baby on the screen! I don't know if he knew it was himself, although I'm sure he recognized the spitting, gooing, laughing noises coming out of the voices on the computer :) Ok, if there's no video below, then Oliver woke up before I could figure it out...if there is, then enjoy!

Oliver's up

Puppies and Babies

2009-12-11T22:25:00.000-06:00

A recent conversation with a friend who got a dog a few weeks after Oliver was born prompted this memory...

2 Years ago, we bought a 6 week old little boy dog named Chester. The baby Australian Shepherd was so rambunctious yet cuddly, and made our old dog, Shadow, find her puppiness again as she tried her best at 12 years old, to keep up with him -- it took all WE had to keep up with him! Although it only took about 2 1/2 weeks to have him completely housebroken, it was a long 2 1/2 weeks, what with keeping an eye on him at all times, waiting for that tell-tale sign of needing to pee, day and night...watching even closer after every meal or sip of water. Being sleep-deprived by letting him sleep on our too-high-to-jump-off-of-bed so he would wake me up to go out. Even after the potty training, buying special puppy food and trying to stop Shadow from eating it all - she was convinced the tasty, high protein puppy chow was better than the old-lady-high-fiber-chow; yet for all my watching and scolding, she still gained a good 5 pounds that first month... We couldn't be gone for more than 2 hours at a time because SOMEONE'S bladder wasn't strong enough to last much longer than that, Chester. ;) Finding the time to walk him several times a day and trying to teach a shepherd to catch and retreive a frisbee instead of corralling it, was quite a challenge. All the training, or bribing rather, for simple commands like "sit," "shake," "down," "drop," "stop chewing on that," "STOP CHEWING ON THAT," and "use your inside voice." (Yeah, anyone who knows Chester knows that command is an utter failure), to help mold our dog into the now goofball family member he has become.

At the time I was 3 months pregnant and thought, wow, this is a lot like what having a baby will be like!

I am wiser now.

One day my friend will be too :)

2009-12-10T00:32:00.000-06:00

Wow! It's been so long since I've updated the blog!! My sweet little velcro baby doesn't really let me do much, but he now is ok watching me check email for about 5 minutes at a time, I'll take it!! So, I think Oliver may be teething...WHAT?!? Yes, he's 3 1/2 months old now, and it's freaking me out. In a bad way. When he has teeth, he's officially not a baby anymore! :( He's already not an infant, and now he won't even be a baby! (to me anyway, his age tells another story)

I had a dream the other night that I woke up and Oliver had a little tooth that had come out about half way. I just started bawling. I woke up in real life, and was so scared to look in his mouth! Thankfully, no teeth yet. Just lots and lots of drool. and Tylenol. and teething rings. So, they make teething rings to freeze, cool, microwave, vibrate, textured, smooth, anything you can think of, it's out there! Oliver LOVES the frozen one (but it makes him drool like crazy) and likes to just sit with his gums on the vibrating one until he screams in what I assume is pain from the vibrating that originally felt good but got to be too much? I don't know, but it's a little sad and exciting to see my little man growing up so fast.

I haven't been able to take as many pictures as I want in the past few weeks, so here are a few I took today. I can't get enough pictures of him - he's just growing like a weed! I'm really excited for my family to see him over Christmas. They haven't seen him since he was born, and then he was in the NICU so they couldn't really hold him or anything. So the holiday season should be a lot of fun, his first Christmas! Ok ok, I'll post the pictures already :)

He's so adorable! I love his different expressions - he's quickly showing me his amazing personality, I love it!

2009-11-15T21:36:00.000-06:00

These are my latest favorite pictures - such a SWEETIE!! I am so in love! :)

Happy Halloween!

2009-11-01T14:18:00.000-06:00

I know everyone is doing a Halloween blog post, so I thought I couldn't leave out our little family, ha ha ha! It was fun dressing everyone up in costumes - Nich and I dressed up as tired parents, Oliver was a "sweat pea," Chester was a lobster, and Daisy was Dr. Daisy, a surgeon actually. Clearly we didn't have enough creativity to do a theme, actually, I'd like to blame it on not enough brain cells left! Here are a few pictures documenting our Halloween 2009:

Our little sweet pea :)

The velcro strap couldn't reach around his double chin, ha ha ha!

The two goobers

It looks more like the lobster is eating Chester.

"I'm being swallowed by a giant lobster, and I don't like it very much...Oh no, (oh no) he's up to my toe (he's up to my toe), Oh gee..."

And Dr. Daisy showing some belly there...not very sterile ma'am

Doctoring up Nich's foot:

It was quite a fun Halloween, and afterwards, the dogs tore their costumes off of each other, then ran to the park and caught frisbees. Oliver pretty much slept. Happy Halloween!!

We finally have a family portrait!

2009-10-22T17:19:00.000-05:00

Thanks to Oliver's Gammie, we have a family portrait! Nich's mom's in town for this week and it's been just lovely :) Oliver is in LOVE with her and all the cute nursery rhymes and songs she tells him while dancing around the house, him in her arms. I'll tell you what, Oliver's so lucky to have the best grandparents ever!!

A REAL smile!

2009-10-16T13:52:00.001-05:00

I LOVE my baby! I am so lucky to get to wake up to this smiling, cooing face every day now! My sweetheart! How does he suddenly look so much older than his 8 weeks?

Little Boy

2009-10-15T14:24:00.000-05:00

A few pictures of Oliver napping on his belly...another time he slept out of my arms! :)

Not so happy

2009-10-10T10:36:00.000-05:00

I love all my pictures of Oliver and all of his little faces he's made that I've been able to capture on film. Here's another side of him - his sad, squished face that we see every night for a few hours starting around 6 or 7. But these are somehow so cute and just tug at my heartstrings!

Not in love with the carseat today

Can't find his pacifier during "tummy time"

Not ready for a diaper change - I got the camera because he had been so happy just seconds before!

And the meltdown...

Oh my sweet boy! He's such a great little guy and he's growing so fast! At 6 weeks, he was 10 pounds 6 ounces and 22 inches long...he's grown 2 inches and gained 3 pounds 4 ounces in his little life! Nooooo!!!! Ha ha ha!

Funny faces!

2009-10-06T18:22:00.000-05:00

Oliver LOVES to be outside, in a breeze, under our pecan tree, in the front yard! It's the only place he'll fall asleep by himself (well, not in someone's arms...I don't leave him there ha ha!!) and could spend hours out there! So today I took my camera with me to capture some of his personality and he sure was posing for me! They were all so cute, but here are some favorites...

With Mommy :)

ACHOO!!

That one's just cute!

"I'm gonna knock you out, Momma said knock you out"

Cute profile

Playing drums

Raar!!!!!

Little Face :)

Give us a hug!!

Eh?

Sleepy baby

Oliver's close up

Our blue burrito!

My little baldy :)

So, I have a few more, but I'm realizing I'm "that" mom if I put too many more on! Our little man is just such a cutie patootie!

Which country sounds the smartest?

2009-10-03T19:24:00.000-05:00

So I was watching TV this evening when a silly commercial came on trying to convince people they are too dumb and uncoordinated to cut their finger and toenails with conventional nail clippers. "A $60 value for two nail clippers with a magnifying glass and "bright light" for ONLY $10!!" Wow, what a deal! I'm wondering what on Earth the people getting paid to market these goofball products are thinking...surely they know we're not really that dense, and for those who really ARE unable to cut our own toenails, like having a giant pregnant belly, well that's what nail salons and husbands are for - no fancy nail clipper is going to change the fact that pregnant ladies can't even SEE their feet, let alone touch them.

Then it occurs to me, the announcer has a British accent! Oh yeah! That makes her smart, right? So we should buy this product because it's from an obviously smart British lady! (Ignore that it's a really bad, fake British accent, ha ha!)

I think it's awesome how "smart people" in our movies, tv shows, and now commercials all have British accents...as do "bad guys" and aliens, no matter what planet or universe they're from. Oh, and anyone being portrayed from another country or old time period - I saw a movie that took place in Ancient Egypt, and by golly they were all actually British! I love it!

But now I'm confused because when I came back from living overseas, with a British accent, British grammar and vocabulary, everyone looked at me all sideways and mocked my funny words for everyday objects. Huh!

Oh no, I just realized that although I may have sounded audibly "smart," because there was no Hollywood script to follow, I didn't REALLY sound so smart...ha ha ha! Oh dear! :)

Thank you mom!!!

2009-09-28T12:34:00.001-05:00

Oliver's asleep, for how long I don't know! But I thought with the few minutes I have right now, I should definitley give a shout out to my amazing mom!! Not only had she stayed with us while I was on bedrest for 3 months (switching in and out with Nich's truly awesome mother!), she also spent over 4 weeks with us AFTER Oliver arrived to help us out! Who does that?? That's absolutely the best gift I could ask for :) Being a new mom is scary enough, then add on trying to recover from 12 weeks of bedrest and a C-section on top of that...but then the emotional stress, left from losing our baby boy, Julian, of constantly worrying if Oliver was going to survive the nights and waking up every 30 minutes to make sure he's still breathing! I am so glad she was able to stay so long, not only for the always clean laundry, clean dishes, clean and sterilized bottles, and delicious and inventive dinners (yes, I stole a few of the recipes to help fill in my now-bored-of meals), but also for the emotional support Nich and I needed when I came to the conclusion that I just wasn't going to be able to nurse my little boy, running myself ragged trying to make sure I was feeding him "right" (trying to follow the "how to" guidlines in a book of feeding and sleeping babies) and it being ok to just listen to my baby instead of a dumb book that mysteriously found it's way into the garbage :), and the long nights where I was afraid to let other people take care of him, but again I was a MESS.

All of us knew things were going to be ok if my mom, now "Omama" (a cute variation of the German "Oma" for "Granny") was able to take him for the night and me not freak out. The last three nights she was here, she took Oliver ALL NIGHT LONG for 3 nights! Amazing!! Again, who does that?? Nich and I recovered most of our sanity back - taking some from Omama I'm sure - and I only checked on him maybe 4 times in those three nights - hey, that's a huge step! It sure helped the transition to him sleeping in the living room now-days...he's moving steadily closer to his own room :)

Now, our little family of three has a pretty good rhythm going where life is a new comfortable-normal...well, pretty comfortable...it'll be even better when Oliver sleeps a little longer at night and his little digestive system is mature enough to stop the silent reflux which brings him to tears nearly every night for a good 2-4 hours :( So, a HUGE thank you to an amazing mom who I grow more respect for with each new phase in my life. Having an infant is a lot of work, and I am so greatful she decided to do it 4 times! (and to Nich's mom for 6 times...especially since my wonderful husband is that #6!)

Here are some of my favorite pictures of Oliver with his Omama

Thank you mom, now, Omama ;)

Something's wrong with Facebook

2009-09-22T19:08:00.000-05:00

On Sunday when I tried to login to my Facebook account, it came up with a screen that said my Facebook account had been disabled...upon looking at the FAQ as to "why was my account disabled," I had to have been reported for having pornography or extreme violence on my page. Umm, ok...anyone who knows me is laughing right now at the thought of that!! So I went down to the link that said to email them if I feel it was disabled wrongly.

Of course I wrote an email saying I couldn't imagine why my profile was disabled without so much as a warning and got an email back the next morning (5:00AM!) that said the account associated with my email address had NOT been disabled. I thought, woohoo! and checked my account. It's still disabled. And on top of that, I don't show up on any of my friends' lists, and have gotten emails asking why I "unfriended" them (is that the correct terminology? I have no idea)

I wrote Facebook back saying, yes indeed it is still disabled, my friends can't see me, but my page shows up as being there, just not able to get to it...NO ONE can. I also asked if someone could have hacked into my account, if there's a virus somewhere that affects Facebook (but it couldn't be since I can't access my page from any computer), or if all the changes they've been making to the privacy settings totally messed up my profile. I haven't heard back and have sent them another email telling them I haven't forgotten, and I'm very concerned someone has hacked in. So, basically, if I don't show up under your FB friends, I didn't change anything and I hope it will all be restored again...if I DO show up on your FB friends and you can look at my page, PLEASE let me know! I'm about ready to pull my hair out since I have so many pictures I love on that site :(